Sunday, June 6, 2010

A Fiend's Mean

Hello America,

Just like the celtics, hopefully, I tried to learn something from the constant pattern of drama from certain folk in my life.  Like usually, I would trip about delmar using my truck, but last night, I gave it to him, no gas in it, of course, he didn't come home.  He is not on a curfew or anything like that.  I had to call him briefly, and I heard an acidity in his voice that is all to familiar to me.

I had a big argument with a good friend, and I could hear that same acidity in her voice.  Had a little tiff with my cousins who stay down the street from me and I could hear in their voices as well.

I call it a fiend's mean.  All my life, I have grown up around crack heads, junkies, wino's........ How sheltered was my life you ask?  But seriously,  I grew up in a world where these people worked, they just used drugs.  they rarely lost their homes, rarely lost their jobs, raised their kids and went on.

Today's environment, makes that very difficult for those to live that lifestyle and don't want to work.  Crack is a very expensive habit.  But more than money, it robs one soul.  Most people who use or abuse drugs are angry about something, and whatever it is at the moment is what they are going to use as justification for what they are doing to someone else usually to obtain the drugs they can't afford.

B/c of the life lessons, I have experienced, I bypassed the fiend's mean.  I didn't argue, I left, now sooner or later, I am going to have go back and get my vehicle so that I can go to work, .  It's ironic, b/c the mean that I mention from these people all was directed towards the fact that I am not on drugs, that they can't say you just like us and you had to do it to.

Do what?  Well, it is the same problem I had in 2001 with a drug dealer by the name of Chester Ray, at that time I was growing marijuana and I wanted to give it to the people for medicine.  Although he sells dope by the keys, b/c of my refusal Wilmer police pulled a fake arrest and got me out of there.There is a lot of AIDS/HIV in the black urban community, and I was going to try to set up a quasi-longitudinal study.  But as most drug dealers, he wanted for himself and knew if I was out of the picture, he could get Delmar to make a deal for very cheap

Same problem, today.  The lady who stays across the street from me in the green house, the lady who stays next door to me in the brown house, in addition to all of the local thugs and drug dealers all help delmar keep tabs on me.  So when I paid rent the other day, their spirits were kind of broken. I wasn't supposed to stay in the house, delmar was supposed to stay and be the conduit for his mother's trade and to keep this identity theft thing going.  But I have paid, continue to work, and now all of these folk that are working, and living in my name really have to start looking for somewhere to stay.  So neighbor, ms. liz across the street, chill on the survelliance, I don't want to run into me outside at four in the morning, one day you are going to find out you don't either.

If I keep working hard, I can have pepperdine paid off by the end of the year, go ahead and get back and school and hopefully keep the job that I have now or start teaching or something.  That way I will ensure that I will always have a way to take care of myself.

The drug dealers around the neighborhood have made their deals with Delmar, they have paid him already, and frankly he is in the hole.  He has no choice but to sneak my car out and run errands for his mom to help pay for his way to ease his insecurities.  Although he is trying to balance it all, b/c he along with others are in so much foul stuff, it really only makes the situation worse b/c the inherent nature of an addiction be it caffiene, crack, wack, herion, opiates allows a person to put respect aside. not accusing him of being on any drugs, just talking about tendencies.

The only thing on their minds are the drugs they crave, and drug dealers have no problem manilupalating that fact to the end.  Which is why my truck stayed at berwick and stella all of last night.  Which is why delmar is making deals and taking money from folk for something that he can't afford to possibly give away.

I don't blame anyone for anything in my life.  I am responsible.  I made a promise to Mr. Roy Lee Meadows, delmar's dad, that I would help him b/c Mr. Meadows felt as I that Ms. Barbara Hearne took motherhood to a new low.  I sacrificed my own to ensure that he had a way to take care of himself, from every fee I paid for him to complete school including paying for his test he has to get his liscence.  I have done my part.

I made one more promise to myself that I would never put myself in a position to depend on him again.  And I really need to show up to work tomorrow, safe and sound, not beat up, with my car, and b/c of some dealers who just can't respect the concept that even if I was on something, I wouldn't need to get it from them, my life is in danger.

So, Ms. Hearne, I am not on the basketball court, but it's Game 2 and I am here.  Not beat up, didn't give your son a reason to hit me, didn't call the police, not going to.  I am going to work in the morning in my car, if I have to will start giving my mom all my cash, not a problem.  BUT WHAT YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DO IS SET ME AND YOUR SON UP, HIM TO DO YEARS FOR ASSUALT AND POSSIBLY MANSLAUGHTER, ME BY HAVING MY BRAINS bashed in b/c you all took money from these foreigners promising them, I would be out.

Why when I pay all the bills pretty much from myself, you would promise that but you did?

But the larger picture, I want you to grasp, America, that if drug dealers are willing to do all this just so that medicinal marijuana can turn into the next crack as far as prices versus being given to the people.  What do you think drug dealers have gotten out of Obama to satisfy his fiend's mean?

Our coast, our country is RUINED.  but we can rise above it, we must.

You get back up, you don't worry about yesterday and you try again.

We can grow ourselves out of this hole, we can drill ourselves out of this hole as a country, but we have to start holding folk accountable.

Bribing elections, letting BP get 30 free days to ruin our coast, scandal after scandal, Obama is allowed to let his fiend's mean be satisfied by levels of corruption that are going to destroy this country.

The only way to stop it, is the same way I am going to stop this mess not with Delmar, he is just a pawn, but with Ms. Barbara Hearne is to walk your path, STAY ON COURSE, RECOGNIZE, AND ADJUST.

that is true for the celctics, me and this country.

Now the ball is in your court, Ms. Hearne, sooner or later, Mr. Buie or whomever hung out in that big black limo is going to hear about this post and realize that I am going to make it to work tomorrow and get my school paid, and be back in LA to get a legitimate way to take care of myself.

Are you going to have Delmar sit there all day at the house, Ms. Hearne, waiting to take my car tonight and not have it back as he does every sunday only to realize I will sleep outside in the car first?  Are you going to continue to fuel delmar's fiend's mean to where he will put his hands on me to keep me from getting this job, keeping this place to stay and my car b/c you have helped identity theft terrorists register cars in my name?    Are you going to continue to have Ms. Thomas, Ms. Liz to play survelliance and further incriminate themselves in this identity theft scam that is going to come to an end?

What are you going to do, Ms. Hearne?  Who are you going to sick on me now?

But at the end of the day, I CAME TO PLAY.  THIS IS THE FINALS, NOT NECESSARILY THE NBA, BABY IT IS ME AND IT IS YOU.  AND SOMEBODY IS GOING TO LOSE A LOT MORE THAN A COUPLE OF DOLLARS, AND SOMEONE IS GOING TO GET THEIR LIFE BACK.  AIN'T NO NEXT YEAR, AIN'T NO NEXT MONTH, AIN'T NO NEXT NOTHING.  THIS IS IT, AND I AIN'T GOING TO STOP PLAYING UNTIL THE BANNER LAYS ACROSS MY CHEST.  THIS IS IT, MS. HEARNE.

I AM PLAYING FOR THE RIGHT OF EVERY CITIZEN TO BE FREE .  I AM FIGHTING EVERY DRUG DEALER OVER THERE FOR THE RIGHT NOT TO BE THEIR SLAVE.  I AM FIGHTING MS. HEARNE B/C SHE HAS SOLD THESE FOLK MY LIFE AND THEY ARE GOING TO HURT HER OR DELMAR, IF THEY DON'T HURT ME FIRST.

A fiend's mean...........................................

From Obama on down, these fiend's mean, have almost killed this country through corruption and bribes.

I showed up to play, and my life is on the line.

Boston are you?

America are you?
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