This is a Sunday preface, I don't think the word is preface but that is the only word I can think of at the moment.
I am going to simply just talk to some of you all because there are a lot of hurt feelings on all sides, I am not going to sit up here and say I was wrong, maybe about details, but the general gist of what is going on. I haven't even hit the motherlode yet.
So we are just going to sit down, b/c those who needed to read Saturday's post did already and have acted upon it. We just going to sit down and I am going to tell you some things, gently and quietly because it is apparent there is a real lack of understanding rather acceptance and respect of one's decision. For those who are new to this blog, edits don't get deleted they are only added to. That is the promise I have made to those who read this from the start and that doesn't change for anyone. Even when I want to change posts, I don't. It is my honest feelings and this is where we start.
I started this blog because of political issues but because I was getting older. Love lets you lie to yourself about a lot of stuff, but age and experience is a truth serum for your ................... I said I wasn't going to curse, but you get my point. I looked at my life in California and I realized that I have been spinning in circles, each and every time getting a little further away but like a dog on a chain just never able to break free.
It took me a very long time to accept the fact that I was in a supposed no-win situation. I am not going into what and why, but one day I got locked up for hitting Delmar with a car. I did it, no need to lie. It was about 10 miles per hour, I had a flashback of being abused and was on one of those I ain't going to take this no more b/c I was really starting to get hurt, he was getting more and more vicious.
But at the time, he and I were seperated and I was still hustling, no need to lie. I got robbed, but the hood was good to me, they helped me get back on my feet within an hour. I had found a job, found a place to stay on the other side of town. I packed up Delmar's stuff in his car and had my mom call his mom to tell her I don't want no trouble b/c I knew she and I were at a point where she would call the police on me and say I stole her car. I just told her that come get in a couple of days. I wasn't even driving it, I just didn't want Delmar over there.
Sooner or later, I would have had him at the new place, but the level of chaos Delmar seemed bent to make our lives just wasn't me. I am Tiffani E. Mims, John and Lucy's child, you work hard, you play hard.......you know. But he was too insecure to realize that just b/c someone has to leave for a minute, don't mean they are leaving you, he couldn't see that, and with the voices that was in his ear, he wasn't going to see it.
So I go to jail, no need to get into details of the arrest, but I am high. I have been smoking weed, chain smoking, nerves bad, and I had been selling dope and the last batch I had was very very good. As I said the hood put me down to get back up on my feet. I don't use gloves and when you cutting and doing all this type of stuff, it gets in your pores.
I go upstairs at Lew Sterret and the guards ain't nice no more, like Tiffani you are going to do hard time. I sit in my cell, so in shock, so messed up in my mind, so high, so full of adrenaline, that I can literally see every pore on every brick in the wall in front of me in my cell. SERIOUSLY.
And I just think, you know. I just think of what all it would take to get my life back. I think of all it would take to get my life back from the people who surround me and have been around me pretty much my whole life. And when you on that level, baby, your mind sees it all.
I left Delmar soon after. I went to Tyler , Texas. I got into the University of Texas at Tyler in 2005. I brought Delmar down in December 2005. He started school in August 2006. He is turning in his last step of paying his liscence fee by the time this is posted. Me, we all know what has been going on with me at Pepperdine, I am two classes short and every single time, every single thing that can go wrong, goes wrong.
But the point of this story is that THIS IS NOTHING, that I didn't anticipate. When you have to call your mom and tell her Mama I think I am going to be doing 10 years at least for something I DIDN'T DO, after your grandmother died in while you were in jail for a night I didn't have to be back out on.........You think of everything, America,.................... you see it all in that cell, because you see your life, my nigga. You see your life and where each and every stab wound came from............You see it whether you want to or not.
I love my family, believe or not. I love my in-laws on some level, believe it or not. I love Delmar, but I am not going to lie, I don't think his loyalties lie with me in the sense of, if it came to his family or me, I would come first. He would do everything he could to have me there, but if it meant sacrifice or harm, it would come to me versus his family. I love my family in Tyler, Texarkansas, Los Angeles, all that. I love my friends who have the penchant of calling at the worst possible times talking to me in ways they know I don't appreciate it. I got love for the folk at my job even though they try to push me to the limit.
I got love.....................................
But I am 35 years old and the person I love more than anyone is me.
I am truly sorry, I am. I am truly sorry that LAW ENFORCEMENT let this problem get so far out of hand, that many people's lives will be affected are affected by my words and my actions. But I made a promise to Delmar because I didn't want him sitting in no cell for the rest of his life saying didn't nobody do nothing for him, didn't nobody believe in him, especially a woman. I told him, I would do everything ensure he got his liscence, well the check is literally in the mail.
Now it is time for me to take care of myself and in that sense I mean things I need to take care of myself. I see the hate, rage, disappointment, hurt in all of your eyes. I SEE, TRUST. but what does it change? I'm supposed to go to jail for y'all............
I am supposed to hood rich through Delmar and sit on my ass all day.....................
I am supposed to be living with my parents for the rest of my life for my nephews to see me as the relatives I disrespected as I grew up................................
for you all not to go to jail, or have to pay back somebody, or whatever for some stuff, YOU KNEW I WASN'T COOL WITH, WHICH IS WHY YOU NEVER MENTIONED IT TO ME.
I could be writing all of these mysterious coincendences in federal reports, but I do not. I just express enough on my blog to save my life. If it wasn't for this blog and the fact I am in Dallas where people recognize me all the time, would have been dead,in jail for a minute or severely beat up on the way to jail with Delmar and his family being okay and mine too.
I just want to be through with you all most of you all because the love that i still have left for you all I want to keep. And that means staying away. I don't think you all mean me any good. I don't. I am sorry that some of you all got into some stuff, but that ain't my fault nor responsibility, every time I am in Texas, you all from all angles have tried to lock me up for life.
I am tired of your brand, I have accomplished what I meant to do down here, Delmar got his liscence, it don't have my name on it. It is just his and if he needs to move home, he can. I ain't mad to help you all out.
But Tuesday, I am going to sign another lease, b/c somethings happened over the past two days, that have forced me to just put it out there. That means any and all identity thieves who were assured no way, Tiffani makes that lease just got screwed.
I am going to leave when I am stable. I am too old to stay at my mama's house. And when I am through with someone, i am through, and I have reached that level with most of the people in my life.
As I promised, I am only writing once a week. It takes me over an hour to even load up the internet but it's okay. I know who is hacking and why.
I am going to address some topics today, some personal, some political. It was weird, b/c for the first time in a long time, I could feel the reaction of the last post, it was visceral. Everyone from Newt to Obama in their own way, to pressure me to take it down.
It was so bad that even Delmar revealed to met that he reads this blog, but I have known that he and his family have known about this blog for longer than he alludes to. I guess I was supposed to get scared that he was reading and stop. Why? Is it going to stop me from getting hit and disrespected whether his brother shows him this post or not? No.
So let's go. If you are offended by profanity, by rude language, STOP READING NOW. I DON'T LIKE TO CURSE, BELIEVE OR NOT, BUT YOU WOULD BE SUPRISED HOW IT TAKES TALKING TO FOLK LIKE THAT FOR THEM TO GET IT.
1)Palin/Dr. Laura/ the word nigga:- Trying to support politicians is so hard. Just when you have them right where you need them to be, they decide to think for themselves and open their damn mouth. SO LET'S JUST GET TO IT HEAD ON. YES, GOV. PALIN, DR. LAURA HAS A RIGHT IN SOME RESPECTS TO SAY THE WORD NIGGA. WHETHER SHE HEARD MARTIN SAY IT, OR EMINEM, DON'T REALLY MATTER. BUT THERE ARE SO MANY CULTURAL CONNATATIONS TO THAT WORD, TO TELL WHITE PEOPLE BLAKENTLY, Y'ALL CAN SAY THE WORD, IS A RECIPE FOR A LOT OF FOLK GETTING THEIR ASSES KICKED.
Nigger-is the original term, that non-black people used to degrade and disrespect african-american slaves.
Nigga-in its modern term, AND MIND YOU THIS IS A VERY SIMPLIFIED DISCUSSION OF THE TERM. is a reminder, especially for those in my generation that saw our parents work their asses off just to get dogged by the system. When one black person says to another, nigga please. It is a social reminder that we emerged as a people from men who were called boys by boys, men who were raped simply on a woman's accusation, men who were hung by their testicles because of their feared virility, strength and power. It is a reminder of women who had to nurse not only their children but of those whose houses she cleaned. it is a reminder of women who had to walk the back of the bus and had to be treated like shit at home because her man found home as the only place of expression of his frustration in this society.
It is a reminder that you are not just black, you are a nigga. Now some of us, have taken the word a little further. It is a word of honor, it represents that person you got on your team, that you can call at 4am in the morning and say this bitch just showed up at my door, pick me up so we can go beat this bitch down. Nigga is the term of endearment for those when everyone ran out of the door, that ignorant nigga, the one black and white folk can't stand is the only one left looking like leaving you wasn't even no question in their mind.
So, yes Dr. Laura had a right to say the word, Nigga. No I don't suggest it, for her or Gov. Palin to say, we all cool, but Todd or no Todd, I ain't the one for any non-black person to say the word nigga in any context around me. I try my best not to say it around any non-black person.
Is that fair? Hell,no? But 400 years of oppression ain't either. I know where you are going with this Gov. Palin, and I know you are trying to tap into that white anger that is lingering.
BUT WHAT WHITE AND NON-BLACK PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW, THAT THE ONLY REASON THIS WORD IS EVEN IN DEBATE IS THAT WE HAVE A NIGGER IN OFFICE.
NIGGER, LAZY, DISRESPECTFUL, DON'T GIVE A FUCK.
BUT BLACK PEOPLE DIDN'T VOTE THIS PERSON IN. FOREIGNERS, IT'S NOT LIKE ANY OF THE SECRETARIES OF THE STATES BOTHERED TO VERIFY ANY OF THESE VOTES, RICH LIBERAL SLAVE OWNERS LIKE SOROS, CHILD MOLESTORS LIKE MIKE, MUSLIM TERRORIST LIKE THE IMAN WHO GOT 16,000 OF MY DAMN MONEY TO RUN HIS ASS TO IRAN TO FURTHER DOG AMERICA.
EVERY BODY BUT NIGGAS PUT THAT NIGGER IN OFFICE.
YEAH, THEY SHOWED STEVE HARVEY AND OTHER IGNORANT ASS NEGROES ON TV, BUT WE ONLY MAKE UP 7% OF THE POPULATION AND SAID TO SAY MOST OF OUR POPULATION IS IN THE PRISON SYSTEM.
SO GOV. PALIN, LET IT GO. I SWEAR BETWEEN YOU AND DELMAR AND A COUPLE OF OTHER PEOPLE, YOU ALL PURPOSELY FIND WAYS TO ROYALLY FUCK UP JUST AFTER THE RNC, AND FOLK LIKE ME CLEANED UP THE LAST MESS.
2) What it means to be an American- was one of the titles of an article in politico yesterday. WITH RESPECT TO THE MOSQUE, MUSLIM AMERICA. YOU KNOW WHY I DIDN'T CHANGE MY POST, B/C AS A GROWN ASS WOMAN, I MEANT WHAT I SAID. NOW HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS GOTTA PRACTICE AT NIGHT B/C OF RAHMADAHM, MAN, PLEASE THAT IS SOME BULLSHIT. IF YOU ALL WANT TO PRACTICE FOOTBALL AND YOUR FAITH THAT YOU, THE PIGSKIN, AND BARACK AND TAKE THAT SHIT BACK TO A MUSLIM-CULTURE CENTERED COUNTRY.
WHO ARE YOU MUSLIM-AMERICA? TO SAY YOU ARE LIKE BLACK PEOPLE. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN LYNCHED IN THIS COUNTRY BECAUSE OF YOUR RELIGION, HAVE YOU BEEN 3/5'S OF A PERSON B/C OF YOUR RELIGION. FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, FUCK YOU FOR THAT MUSLIM AMERICA. AND THAT GOES FOR GAY AMERICA TO. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU ARE MUSLIM BY LOOKING AT YOU UNLESS YOU DO OR WEAR SOMETHING TO DISGINGUISH YOURSELF, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY NECESSARILY BY LOOKING AT YOU.
BUT I DO KNOW SIMPLY LOOKING AT YOU IF YOU ARE BLACK.
DON 'T POP NO 1ST AMENDMENT RIGHTS, IF THIS WASN'T A CHRISTIAN-CENTERED CULTURE, YOU WOULDN'T EVEN BE ABLE TO HOLD A KORAN IN THIS COUNTRY. CHRISTIANS CAN'T GO TO MOST OF THE MUSLIM-CULTURE CENTERD COUNTRY AND TELL THOSE GOVERNMENTS TO DO A GOT DAMN THING.
YOU ALL NEED TO BE GRATEFUL THAT YOU ARE ALLOWED ALONG WITH OTHER RELIGIONS TO PRACTICE OVER, BUT B/C BARACK IS A MUSLIM AND YOU ALL GOT SOME NUMBERS, DON'T MEAN YOU ALL ARE GOING TO CHANGE A DAMN THING OVER HERE. THAT IS WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE FOREIGNERS, THESE MUSLIMS, THEY BRING ALL OF THEIR PERSONAL BULLSHIT AND DIVISIONS OVER HERE.
LOOK AT CHICAGO, ALL OF THOSE BELIZIANS, ALL OF THOSE AFRICANS, YOU THINK IF YOU CUT OFF MY ARMS IN THE REPUBLICAN OF CONGO AND I SEE ON CISERO IN CHICAGO, I AM GOING TO LET YOU MAKE IT?
BEING AMERICAN MEANS THE ________-AMERICAN, THE DASH YOU PUT IN BEFORE THE WORD AMERICAN WHEN DISTINGUISHING YOURSELF SHOULDN'T MATTER AS MUCH AS THE AMERICAN PART.
BLACK AMERICANS ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO CAME OVER HERE AND WERE DENIED THIER CULTURAL HERITAGE, SO WE MADE OUR OWN, THIS IS HOW WORDS LIKE NIGGA CAME ABOUT. BUT EVER SINCE YOU UNCLE SAM, LET ALL OF THESE FOLK OVER EVERYBODY WANT TO DISGUINISH THEMSELVES.
OVER HERE, WE ARE SIMPLY AMERICANS. SIMPLE AS THAT.
SO MUSLIM, GAY, HISPANIC, OR WHOMEVER TAKE THAT BULLSHIT BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM. WE SPEAK ENGLISH, HELL NO, YOU WILL NEVER SUFFER THE PLIGHT OF BLACK AMERICANS AND LET THE SHIT GO.
AMERICANS WERE KILLED, AND YOU ALL ARE GOING TO BUILD A MOSQUE THAT IN WHICH THE IMAN WORSHIPS SHARIAH LAW WHICH DEMANDS OF ITS MEMBERS TO DO EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO DESTROY WESTERN SOCIETY AND THAT MUSLIM/ISLAM COMES FIRST.
IT IS NO SUPRISE THAT BUSH WOULD KEEP QUIET WITH ALL OF THE FUCKING UP OBAMA IS DOING, BUT STAND UP FOR MUSLIMS.......................
WHO THE FUCK IS STANDING UP FOR AMERICANS......................................
THOSE ARE CITIZENS UNDER THAT GROUND.
SO I AM GOING TO SAY IT AGAIN, AND I AM GOING TO KEEP SAYING.
BARACK IS A MUSLIM, HIS POINT IS TO CHANGE THIS COUNTRY INTO A MUSLIM-CENTERED COUNTRY AND EVERYDAY THE MUSLIM POPULATION IS GETTING MORE AND MORE OUT OF HAND.
YOU ALL NEED TO REMEMBER THAT THIS IS A CHRISTIAN-CENTERED COUNTRY AND IF YOU WANT A MUSLIM-FRIENDY AMERICA, GO BUILD ONE BACK WHERE YOU CAME FROM.
MAY BE MEAN, BUT THE TRUTH.
3)Election strategy- WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL BARACK THAT SIMPLY SAYING THAT THE REPUBLICANS WILL BE MUCH WORSE IS NOT AN ELECTION STRATEGY, IT IS JUST MORE OF THE BULLSHIT HE HAS BEEN FEEDING AMERICA FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS.
IN 2008, HE SAID ALL RICH FOLK ARE EVIL, ALL NON-BLACK PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T VOTE FOR HIM ARE RACIST, THAT BLACK PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T VOTE FOR HIM ARE UNCLE TOMS, THAT WORKPLACE RAIDS OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS SHOULD STOP, HE SEALED HIS RECORDS, HE GOT BOTH HOUSES OF CONGRESS, HE PASSED EVERY LAW THAT HE WANTED, B/C WHAT ALL OF THESE TOPICS HAVE IN COMMON IS THAT WE GOT POLITICIANS DOING EXACTLY THE OPPPOSITE OF THE WILL OF THE PEOPLE.
THE FACT THAT NANCY PELOSI IS INVESTIGATING 9/11 VICTIMS WHILE THE IMAN WHO IS ASSOCIATED WITH HAMAS GETS TAX DOLLARS, IS THE REASON WE NEED SOME WATER BUCKETS, SOME REAL PATRIOTS AND ABOUT 30 MINUTES WITH BARACK, NANCY, AND HARRY AND WE GET SOME REAL TRANSPARENCY.
HOW ABOUT JUST ADMITTING IT BARACK? YOU FUCKED UP! BAD! YOU THOUGHT YOU WAS GOING TO COME OVER HERE AND SOCIALIZE AND MUSLIMIZE THIS COUNTRY AND NOW THAT THE MONEY IS GONE YOU BACK TO BEING THAT CRACKHEAD/MUSLIM NIGGER THAT NO ONE REALLY KNOWS WHERE YOU ARE FROM.
IF YOU WERE AMERICAN, YOU WOULD HAVE SEEN THAT COMING LIKE YOUR SECOND DAY IN OFFICE, Just face it. DO WHAT YOU ALWAYS DO, AVOID REAL WORK AND KEEP TRAVELING, B/C YOUR DAYS ARE GONE. AND IF YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT THIS COUNTRY, FIND A WAY AMERICA, TO ENSURE THAT NANCY PELOSI IS NOT SPEAKER.
WE DO NEED TO REPEAL HEALTH CARE, WE DO NEED TO EXTEND TAX CUTS, WE DO NEED TO ALLOW DRILLING IN ALASKA(yes, Greta I saw your special), WE DO NEED TO END THE MORATORIUM ON DRILLING. THIS MONTH ALONE OVER 50,000 PEOPLE WILL LOSE THEIR LIVELIHOOD IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. WHY? SO WE CAN HAVE MORAL SUPREMACY OVER THE WORLD, THAT SHIT DON'T PAY THE BILLS.
NO COUNTRY IS GOING TO STOP DOING BUSINESS WITH US FROM WHETHER WE DRILL OR HOW WE KEEP OUR MUSLIMS IN CHECK.
MORALS DON'T PAY THE BILLS, MONEY DOES. BUT I GUESS THAT CONCEPT IS HARD FOR A COMMUNITY ORGANIZER, TRANSLATION FREELOADING FOREIGNER TO GRASP...................
A lot of bullshit happened this week, it was especially a bad day Friday, from work to Delmar, I just got shitted on all the way around. Why? don't matter.
BUT LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR, B/C APPARENTLY MY POST LAST WEEK WASN'T CLEAR ENOUGH. MOST OF THE PEOPLE WHO ARE FREQUENTLY MENTIONED IN THIS BLOG, I HAVE MADE UP IN MY MIND WHATEVER WAS THE LAST TIME I SAW THEM, IS THE LAST TIME I WILL EVER SEE THEM IN LIFE.
I HAVE NO NEED TO SEE MY FORMER IN-LAWS EVER AGAIN. I HAVE NO NEED TO SEE MOST OF MY RELATIVES IN TYLER AGAIN.
I AM GOING TO LEAVE, IT IS TIME FOR ME TO LEAVE EVERYBODY. IT IS TIME FOR ME TO TAKE THE MEMORIES THAT I CAN BEAR BURY THEM IN MY HEART AND LEAVE.
EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT I LOVE AND CARE ABOUT HAS FOUND A WAY SINCE I HAVE COME BACK TO DEGRADE AND DISRESPECT ME ON LEVELS I NEVER IMAGINED.
AND THIS MORNING, I PULLED OVER AND CRIED. LIKE A BABY, CRIED. THIS FIREFIGHTER THAT I RECOGNIZE BUT CAN'T REMEMBER WHERE, JUST LOOKED AT ME AND SMILED. BEAUTIFUL BROTHER, JUST B/C I GO THROUGH BULLSHIT, JUST B/C I ONLY HAVE ONE PAIR OF SHOES B/C I CAN'T KEEP FROM MY BELONGINGS FROM GETTING TORN UP FROM TIME TO TIME, DON'T MEAN THAT MEN, WOMEN, HELL EVEN COUPLES DON'T TRY TO HOLLA.
BUT HE SMILED, WITH HONEST CARE AND CONCERN, NOT LUST AND THE NEED TO BEAT A WOMAN DOWN IN HIS EYES AND THAT MADE ME FEEL A LITTLE BETTER.
AND THE REASON WHY IS THAT HIS SMILE REMINDED ME THERE IS ALWAYS NEW ROADS TO TRAVEL.
I DON'T HAVE ANY DEALINGS WITH ANY OF MY IN-LAWS, I DON'T HAVE ANY DEALINGS WITH MY FAMILY IN TYLER, IN LOS ANGELES, IN TEXARKANSAS.
SO IF YOU ARE DEALING WITH MY IDENTITY B/C SOMEONE WHO KNOWS ME, SOMEONE WHO IS SUPPOSED TO LOVE ME OR BE MY FRIEND OF WHATEVER, FAMILY WHATEVER SAID THAT TIFFANI IS COOL WITH IT.
THAT IS A DAMN LIE, GET OUT OF IT, REPORT THE FRAUD TO THE POLICE, B/C I AM TELLING YOU KNOW THAT IF I FIND OUT ABOUT IT, THERE AIN'T ENOUGH JAILS FOR YOU. IF THAT MEANS YOU GET DEPORTED, YOUR KIDS CAN'T EAT, WHATEVER ALL THAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, YOUR SHIT TO DEAL WITH.
IT AIN'T MY FAULT, I GOT A GREEN CARD, IT AIN'T MY FAULT YOU DON'T.........................
B/C IN THE END WHAT IT ALL BOILS DOWN TO THE WILL OF THE PEOPLE.
AND STARTING WITH THIS PERSON, I NEVER WANT TO SEE MOST OF YOU ALL AGAIN IN MY LIFE. AND PUTTING SOME BULLSHIT TICKETS ON ME TO REMIND ME OF THE NUTBUCKET CALLED LAWANIA, OR MONICA, OR MICHELLE OR WHATEVER AFRICAN/BELIZIAN TRASH DELMAR DATED OR WHATEVER B/C HE IS NEVER GOING TO TELL ME THE TRUTH AIN'T GOING TO MAKE ME NOT DO WHAT I SAID.
BY THE TIME MOST OF YOU ALL READ THIS, HE WILL HAVE HIS BARBER LISCENCE, ALL OF HIS TESTS PAID, EVERYTHING. MY RENT WILL BE CAUGHT UP, MY TRUCK WON'T BE TOWED, I AM STILL AT MY JOB UNTIL THEY LAY ME OFF AGAIN.
AND I AM GOING ON WITH MY LIFE. LIKE BB KING, SAID THE TRILL IS GONE.
THE TRILL OF THINKING DELMAR WOULDN'T EVER DOG ME LIKE THAT, THE TRILL OF THINKING MY FAMILY WOULDN'T DO ME LIKE THAT, THAT MY IN-LAWS WOULD HAVE ENOUGH SENSE TO LEAVE MY IDENTITY LIKE THAT, ALL OF THAT IS GONE.
AND ALL I CAN DO, ALL I CAN DO, FAMILY, OBAMA, DELMAR'S HAREM,IN-LAWS, ILLEGAL ALIENS USING MY NAME, MUSLIM AMERICA, GAY AMERICA IS WISH YOU WELL....................
B/C I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU ANYMORE TO EVEN CARE.
I AM NOT GOING TO SLEEP WITH NO FIVE WOMEN OR BE STUPID ENOUGH TO HAVE NO KUSH WITH ALL OF THESE THEIVING BASTARDS I AM SURROUNDED BY. I FEEL WHAT I FEEL, BUT I DO WHAT I NEED TO DO.
THE TRILL IS GONE. I AM LEAVING TO GO HOME. DELMAR IS A FREE MAN, WE NOT MARRIED. IF HE CHOOSES TO STAY WITH ME, THAT IS HIS CHOICE.
BUT AS FAR YOU AS YOU BARBARA HEARNE, B/C YOU AND YOURS ARE THE ONLY ONES THAT APPARENTLY CAN'T AFFORD FOR ME TO LEAVE, JUST ASSUME I AM DEAD.
B/C YOU WILL NEVER SEE A DAY WHERE YOU AND I WILL EVER BE COOL.
MORE THAN DELMAR, OR ANY OF YOUR CHILDREN, THIS IS BETWEEN ME AND YOU.
I AM TIRED OF YOUR THREATS TO MY FAMILY, I AM TIRED OF YOUR PRESENCE IN MY LIFE THROUGH THE ACTIONS OF YOUR CHILDREN.
I AM THROUGH........................
AND TRYING TO GET MY CAR TOWED, OR ME KICKED OUT OF MY HOME SO THAT THE FRAUD CAN RESUME OVER MY MOM'S HOUSE AIN'T GOING TO DO SHIT BUT RESULT IN MORE CHARGES FOR YOU WHEN YOUR TIME COMES.
THAT GOES FOR YOU TO ILLEGAL, MUSLIM, GAY AMERICA.
WE ALL GOTTA TO ANSWER TO SOMEBODY.
AS FOR ME, I'm long gone................just like the Guy song.
May not be today nor tomorrow, but when I am, NEVER COMING BACK and I think we can all be okay with that.
the will of this person says it's time to leave these shady ass friends/family/lovers/foes alone and go on to the life I was meant to live.
the thrill is gone.