Thursday, September 30, 2010

Brother Boehner keeps it real (the real talk remix of his speech from today about reform and people)

Unlike the "commander-in-chief", Rep. Boehner is putting himself in a position for good or for bad, but standing up and telling us the shit for what it is and what it ain't.

You won't hear words like hope and change, you will hear reality.  Words like deficits, we can't afford, the speaker walked out on America, b/c the bad awful "Rich"(which is SUCH a relative term these days...) would have gotten the tax cuts as well, BECAUSE THE WILL OF THE PEOPLE SAID SO.

So without further introduction, the man who I hope, who I pray, who I trust, to never pull the shit pelosi did last night,

REP. JOHN BOEHNER, Ladies and Gentlemen.  Although the entire speech is not out, we are going to take some excerpts and start breaking it down for some of you all.  Not b/c any one is better than anyone else, but simple shit allows everybody to get the concept.

this is about our country,

y'all ready, let's turn on that translator, switch it from Liberalese Lingo to Republican Real Talk.

“The mission of the United States Congress is to serve the American people – and today, due in part to institutional barriers that have been in place for decades, that mission goes unfulfilled.  These wounds have been self-inflicted by both parties, and if we do not fix them, it’s possible no one will.”  

Translation: It is our duty as congress to serve you all, the people.  And b/c of some bullshit in the game that has been put in place, we don't fulfill our duty.  The shit has been put in the game we did, not all of us but some of us on both side, both parties got some shady motherfuckers in our midst.  And b/c of that a lot of fucking up has been going on, and since we are the people who started the shit, we got to be the people that ends this shit.  Letting other motherfuckers who don't know how our shit works, risks the grave possiblity of that person fucking it up further.

Y'all cool, you see what I am doing let's continue.

“Congress has been most maligned over the past generation for its fiscal recklessness, and rightly so.  Current congressional rules are rigged to make it easy to increase spending and next-to-impossible to cut spending.  Most spending bills come to the floor prepackaged in a manner that makes it as easy as possible to advance government spending and programs, and as difficult as possible to make cuts.

On the cool, the real way congress has been really fucking it is because of these damn rules.  The players who put the rules in place are "helped" by lobbyists to write the bill that allows TAXPAYER money to slip more easily into the system and put some more rules in there where it makes it impossible to stop the bullshit spending, once it stops.    The game so deep these days, the bills already come packaged like some super-sized paper towels at Wal-mart letting the government spend and create shit, and already written to where you can't cut shit......, it's some bullshit, America.  some real Bullshit.

“I propose today a different approach.  Let’s do away with the concept of ‘comprehensive’ spending bills.  Let’s break them up, to encourage scrutiny, and make spending cuts easier.  Rather than pairing agencies and departments together, let them come to the House floor individually, to be judged on their own merit.  For decades, the word ‘comprehensive’ has been used as a positive adjective in Washington.  I would respectfully submit that those days are behind us.  The American people are not well-served by ‘comprehensive.’  In an era of trillion-dollar deficits, we need a tighter focus; one that places an emphasis on getting it right, and less emphasis on getting it done quickly.”  

What I'm saying y'all is fuck that shit.  All this comprehensive spend all of the taxpayer money bills with no chance to fix the shit, let's end all that shit.  Break this shit up to where our staff can read the GOT DAMN BILL WITHIN A WEEK carefully so we can know what the fuck we are voting on.  Let's making cutting some of this bull shit that finds it's way on bills on BOTH SIDES OF THE AISLE easier.  Let each bill come on their own, stop packing all this bullshit together.  We have the used the word comprehensive to pass more counterfeit bullshit than a two dollar hoe trying to pass a four dollar bill.  Y'all ain't been done right with these comprehensive bills.  As broke as we are, WE NEED TO GET A GRIP, START WATCHING WHERE THIS DAMN PAPER IS GOING.  We need to handle our business with these spending bills the first damn time, and stop worrying about motherfuckers giving deadlines to make a news conference and shit.   We broke, we can't afford to get no more shit wrong.

“Don’t assume I’m singling out the appropriators; I’m not. Over decades, in my view, authorizing committees in the House and Senate have also abdicated their responsibility, often authorizing billions of dollars knowing full well they will never actually be appropriated. Interest groups then lobby Congress to ‘fully fund’ the program, systematically creating pressure on the legislature to drive up spending. This has to stop.”




* * *
Don't assume I am calling out the money homies. Hey, money mitch is a friend of mine(my personal joke), but seriously.  The house and senate BEEN FUCKING UP, BEEN SIGNING THESE BILLS KNOWING THEY DIDN'T HAVE THE MONEY.  The lobbyist them folk on K street, right around the corner, they just the gangstas of all the lobbyist, they hook up congresspeople with dinners, mortgages, and such to then pay for the bullshit program which done time after time like some cyndi lauper shit puts pressure on these congresspeople to keep writing these bullshit bills and paying for them.  MAN, AMERICA THIS SHIT GOTTA STOP.  IT IS FUCKING KILLING US. IT GOTTA FUCKING STOP RIGHT NOW

“We should also consider developing a “cut as you go” rule that would apply to any member proposing the creation of new government programs or benefits.  Very simply, under this ‘CutGO’ rule, if it is your intention to create a new government program, you must also terminate or reduce spending on an existing government program of equal or greater size – in the very same bill. “

What we need to do is get some of this new shit.  This motherfucker it ain't going to be signed until you find a way to pay for this shit way.  What it is, just like you, America, on  a budget when your spouse tells you they want to start going to the gym or yoga, I want to tell congress what you would tell your spouse.  how you going pay for it?  What you going to cut because we ain't going no extra money coming in.  Tell me that and then we will see if we can work it out.  REAL SIMPLE SHIT, AND TO KEEP THESE MOTHERFUCKERS FROM PLAYING AMERICA AGAIN, I SUGGEST WE PUT IT IN THE SAME BILL.  ELIMINATE THE BULLSHIT FROM THE START, THAT WAY THE LOBBYIST CAN'T TAKE SENATOR SMITHJONES TO SEE "CINNAMON" FOR SOME HELPFUL INSPIRATION ON PAYING FOR A BULLSHIT BILL.

“With all the challenges facing our nation, it is absurd that Congress spends so much time on naming post offices, congratulating sports teams, and celebrating the birthdays of historical figures.  [O]ften these resolutions are poorly drafted, or duplicative of previously considered bills.  And under both parties they’ve received little or no oversight.  It’s my view that we should consider taking all these commemorative moments and special honors, and handle them during special orders and one-minute speeches.  It’s time to focus on doing what we were sent here to do.”

WITH ALL THE BULLSHIT THAT IS GOING ON, IT IS SOME REAL ASS BULLSHIT THAT CONGRESS WOULD WASTE ALL THIS DAMN TIME AND MONEY ON NAMING POST OFFICE AND TRYING TO GET SOME AUTOGRAPHS AND PICTURES AND TICKETS FROM SOME SPORTS FIGURES AND CELEBRATING BIRTHDAYS OF SOME HISTORICAL FIGURES WHO ARE GLAD AS HELL THEY AIN'T HERE TO BE A PART OF THE BULLSHIT THAT IS GOING ON AT WHAT USED TO BE KNOWN AS CAPITOL HILL.  THESE BILLS ARE SOME MORE BULLSHIT AND THEY JUST SNEAK IN BULLSHIT THAT HAS FAILED ON SOME OTHER BILL KNOWING MOST OF THE FOLK AIN'T GOING TO READ THIS BILL. 

WE NEED TO STOP ALL THIS TIME ON THIS BILLSHIT, I SUGGEST GIVING THESE FOLK A LITTLE BULLSHIT SPEECH FOR ONE MINUTE OR IF REALLY NEEDED A SPECIAL ORDER WITH ONLY THAT EVENT OR FIGURE ON THERE, NO EXTRA BULLSHIT. 

AMERICA, WE HERE TO WORK FOR YOU AND ALL OF THIS BULLSHITTING IS COSTING YOU MILLIONS.  I AIN'T PERFECT, FAR FROM IT, BUT I KNOW LITTLE BY LITTLE IF WE ALL COME TOGETHER WE CAN BECOME A MIGHTY FORCE AND END THIS BULLSHIT.  THIS AIN'T THE TIME FOR WHO SHOT FUCKING JOHN.

THIS IS THE TIME FOR HOW ARE GOING TO GET OUT OF THIS 13 TRILLION DOLLAR OVERDRAFT IN OUR ACCOUNT, PROTECT OUR HOME FROM THESE TERRORIST INVADERS, AND GET MOTHERFUCKERS TO TRUST OUR ASS AGAIN TO DO BUSINESS AND KEEP JOBS IN OUR COUNTRY.  WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR NO OTHER SHIT.

 “Some changes have to be made, and we can’t keep kicking the can down the road. We’ve run out of road. It’s time to do what we say we’re going to do. For our constituents, our government, and the people’s House, settling for the ‘next best thing’ is no longer good enough.”

PEOPLE IT'S LIKE THIS, WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING B/C THIS SHIT AIN'T WORKING.  BARACK CAN POP THIS BULLSHIT ABOUT HOW HE CHANGED THIS AND THAT, BUT HE AND BIDEN WERE FUCKING SENATORS THEY KNOW HOW THIS GAME WORKS.  THEY KNOW, WE KNOW, THE LEFT, THE RIGHT AND THE MIDDLE KNOW THAT THE ONLY WAY WE ARE GOING TO CLEAN THIS SHIT UP, IS TO CLEAN THIS SHIT UP.  WE AIN'T GOT NO MORE ROOM TO FUCK UP ON SPENDING.  WE AIN'T GOT NO MORE DAMN MONEY.

ALL OF THIS BULLSHITTING, BAND-AID REMEDIES, AIN'T GOOD ENOUGH, IT NEVER WAS, BUT IF YOU GIVE A ME A CHANCE TO GET THIS HOUSE SIDE IN ORDER, WE ARE GOING TO GET THIS SHIT STRAIGHT.  IT'S GOING TO COST ME SOME GOP HOMIES, SOME DEM HOMIES, SOME LOBBYIST HOMIES, ALL THAT.

BUT FUCK IT, B/C AS JOHN BOEHNER REPRESENTING THE GOP, I AM ASKING YOU FOR THE CHANCE TO LET US CLEAN UP THIS FUCKING MESS, WE DON'T CARE WHO SPILLED WHAT, WE GOT A BUCKET OF FISCAL LYSOL,  WE GOT OUR SCRUBBING TOWELS FRESH WITH SOME TIDE AND DOWNY BABY, WE GOT SOME ELBOW GREASE CALLED THE WILL OF THE PEOPLE AND WE NEED YOUR PERMISSION TO CLEAN THIS MOTHERFUCKER UP,

RIGHT NOW!

Just when you thought I was going to go on some personal shit.....................

Hate it or love it, ain't that some brilliant ass shit, tell me I ain't good at what I do, all day long.

All bullshit aside, I scream and holla and blast myself and those around me, for shit like Boehner is doing today.  SO THAT THESE CONGRESSPEOPLE AND ADMINISTRATION CAN KEEP IT REAL WITH YOU, AMERICA, B/C PEOPLE LIKE ME PEEPED THAT BULLSHIT A LONG TIME AGO. SO  YOU CAN STOP HATING ON ME THINKING I AM TRYING TO BE BETTER THAN SOMEONE ELSE BY GETTING ALL THE MONEY I CAN GET MY HANDS ON.  SO YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THAT BABY AT THE RATE BARACK IS FUCKING UP, EVERY MAN ALIVE IN THIS COUNTRY WON'T PAY MORE THAN TWO DOLLARS FOR A BLOW JOB.

ASK A REAL ECONOMIST ABOUT THOSE FIGURES, B/C I AM DEAD SERIOUS.  KEEP WALKING, FUCK OTHER MOTHERFUCKERS IN YOUR EAR AND THINK AND LISTEN AND DETERMINE FOR YOUR DAMN SELF.

BROTHER BOEHNER PUT HIS ASS ON THE LINE,

ARE WE GOING TO LEAVE HIM HANGING AMERICA?
ARE WE GOING TO LEAVE OUR CHILDREN HANGING AMERICA?
ARE WE GOING TO LEAVE OURSELVES HANGING AMERICA?

You tell me, November 2nd, and check out his full speech, should be out within an hour.

Bigg Mann don't need no more help.................

He is where he is, follow the haircuts.....


 
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