Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Just Gonna Have to Be

Hello America,

I have been filling out job applications which always suck.  I was thinking about what to write about, Delmar is settling into his job.  Now he is paranoid about me working because he enjoys driving to work.  How ironic, it seems...........  But I can't blame him, I know what it is like trying to get up on your feet, and while I am behind Delmar in some ways, I have had my own cars off the showroom floot, my own places to stay and he is just trying to continue to pick back up. 

That's okay.

I wish that we were at a point in our relationship and yes there is a political point to this, where I could depend on him to work and pay bills and to his credit, he will, but the but in that sentence is why we are not there.  One thing that he has picked up from Mama Hearne is the ability to treat people like shit the worse he perceives that person to be doing, although that is his number one complaint against Mama Hearne. It's weird, it's scary, b/c it don't even take much for Delmar to start treating me like shit because he working. Now he is Mr. wonderful neighbor, co-worker, even boyfriend, brother all that, but with me, it's different.

But with me, it's different because it's me.  For some reason, it has been like that my whole life with people.  They never have a problem telling me about their possessions, their people's possessions, but just look and treat me like I am supposed to be 1) fascinated about another motherfucker's shit, which ain't never been me, 2) fascinated about another motherfucker's shit because I ain't going to have shit.

It's been that way with my parents, my friends, just over the years, I used to think it was because I was a bad person. Now I am old enough that this is personal and there is something a lot of people know about me that I don't.

So yesterday I listened to Delmar talk about his sister.  Me and her ain't going to never get along.  That's not important, I think he and sis think I hate on her.  Why?  She works hard, she deserves her shit, but to kiss someone's ass based on a couple of cars and a house in the surburbs with no paperwork, that ain't me.  to kiss someone's ass based on they shit, ain't never been me.

I listen to him brag about her, and how going straight to work, dallas county and the post office was WAY BETTER THAN GOING TO COLLEGE.  I laugh on the inside as I had a full scholarship to SMU law school when I got with him, but you can't keep a 4.0 with a nigga running hoes in and out of your shit can you............  I don't take it personal anymore, b/c I know it is more than him, even with my friends, you can tell when motherfuckers enjoy seeing you down on your luck.

So my lights, my water are due about to get cut off.  I ain't worked, ABI never calls when work is needed, they might call in a couple of weeks to see if I got evicted.  I just keep applying where I can. I write when I can, when I can get past the hacking.  Delmar is content for right now, let the house go into eviction, it's in my name and we can trust him......... I can't do that.

I just looked at him and realized that it is just gonna have to be some hate when I come out. 

GOP/TEA PARTY YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN YOU ARE THE MOTHERFUCKER, WHEN YOU ARE THAT ONE, YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO ENDURE WITH HATE LIKE THIS.  NOW, BARACK WANT ALL YOUR MONEY, BUT DON'T WANT YOU TO HAVE SHIT. JUST LIKE THE HEARNE FAMILY HAS NO PROBLEM WITH EARNING THEIR SHIT IN WHICH THEY ARE ENTITLED TO BUT AT THE SAME TIME WANT ME TO BE A BROKE MOTHERFUCKER TO KISS SOME WOMAN'S ASS BECAUSE SHE GOT A LEXUS.........

WE ALL HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HATE AND NON-CONCERN.  I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT LATISSA'S SHIT.  SHE DOES HAVE A NICE HOUSE, SHE GOT A COUPLE OF CARS, BUT I AM A GOOD STREET, CARTER COWBOYS, GREW UP IN THE ORIGINAL RED BIRD MEADOWS NEIGHBORHOOD.  I DON'T GET EXICITED OVER KEYS, I GET EXCITED OVER DEEDS, PINK SLIPS, OWNERSHIP....AND EVEN THEN I DON'T GET EXCITED OVER OTHER MOTHERFUCKER'S SHIT ONLY TO MOTIVATE ME TO GET MY OWN.

AND I USE THAT STORY TO ILLUSTRATE HOW THE DNC IS GOING TO COME AT YOU FOR THE NEXT WHAT 30 DAYS.  TELL YOU, THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO HAVE SHIT, WELL, SHIT OBAMA, YOU DON'T EITHER.

THEY TELL YOU, CAN YOU IMAGINE THESE FOLK IN CHARGE, WHY NOT? OBAMA HAS FUCKED UP HOW MANY TRILLIONS IN HOW MANY YEARS, IF WE CAN ENDURE A CRACKHEAD AT THE HELM FOR TWO YEARS WHY NOT AN AMERICAN CITIZEN?

THEY TELL YOU, YOU WANT TO MUCH, BUT DAMN NEAR MOONWALK ALL OVER YOUR SIDEWALK TO SHOW YOU SOME SHIT THEY GOT.

BASICALLY, THEY ARE JUST SOME HATEFUL MOTHERFUCKERS, WHO DON'T HAVE THE BALLS NOR THE KNOW HOW TO GET SOME SHIT FOR THEMSELVES, THEY JUST KNOW HOW TO TAKE YOUR SHIT, NOT EVEN IN YOUR FACE WITH A GUN, THEY DO IT BEHIND A DESK WITH A PEN...............

GANGSTERISM HAS GOTTEN SO HOEISH THESE DAYS................

SO YOU JUST GONNA HAVE TO BE THE PARTY, THE GROUP OF MOTHERFUCKERS THAT SEES THROUGH THAT CHILIDISH BULLSHIT AND PUSH THROUGH.

GET YOUR PEOPLE OUT TO THE VOTING BOOTH, FUCK A POLL.  POLL THE PEOPLE YOU FUCK WITH EVERYDAY, AND ASK THEM ARE YOU DOING BETTER OR WORSE BECAUSE THAT'S ALL THIS CONGRESS AND OBAMA RAN ON,

THEY RAN ON THE PREMISE THAT THEY COULD MAKE THIS CROOKED STRAIGHT, THEY JUST FORGOT TO MENTION THEY PLANNED TO MAKE THIS CROOKED A STRAIGHT PATH INTO HELL, DEPRESSIONS, DICTATORSHIP BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE CAN HAPPEN WHEN THE RICHEST NATION IN THE WORLD IS DEAD BROKE AND AIN'T GOT NO HEAT WITH A BITCH OF A PRESIDENT THAT GETS PAID ON OUR TAX DOLLARS TO APOLOGIZE ABOUT THE MOTHERFUCKING COUNTRY THAT LET HIS DADDY BUST A NUT HERE................

SUPPOSEDLY...........

DON'T FALL FOR THE BULLSHIT.  WHEN THEY TRY TO SCARE AMERICA WITH WHAT THEY THINK YOU ARE GOING TO DO, SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF AMERICA BACK SHOWING THE BULLSHIT THEY ALREADY HAVE DONE.

SO PLAY ON, DEMOCRATS, PLAY ON LATISSA, GLAD TO HEAR YOU ARE BACK AT WORK, YOU AND YOUR HERMOSO GET YOUR BOOGIE ON, YOU ALL NEED THAT HEADSTART FROM DELMAR HAVING A WAY TO WORK TO HAVING YOUR CLIQUE OF PEOPLE ALLREADY SET UP.  NO HATE, BABY, I SLEEP WITH DELMAR AND I AM NOT WORRIED ABOUT NONE OFYOUR POSTAL COLLEAGUES PUSHING UP ON HIM TELLING HIM WHAT A GOOD MAN HE IS, B/C IF HE GETS CAUGHT UP IN THAT, THEN THAT'S WHERE HE BELONGS.

I LOOK LIKE SHIT SO HE DON'T HAVE TO.

BUT ALL THAT'S GOING TO CHANGE.

ALL YOU GOTTA DO GOP/TEA PARTY IS THE SAME THING I AM DOING, DO WHAT THE FUCK YOU DO.

THAT'S ALL.

THAT'S JUST GONNA HAVE TO BE ENOUGH B/C GETTING AGITATED WITH FIGHTING TIT FOR TAT BULLSHIT ONLY DETERS FROM THE MESSAGE.

WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TIFFANI?

THE SAME THING I DO EVERYTIME WHEN MOTHERFUCKERS DO JUST ENOUGH FOR THEM, WHEN MOTHERFUCKERS SAY THEY ARE GOING TO HELP BUT THEN GO OTHER ROUTES.

I PICK MY BLACK ASS UP, I LOOK AT THE OPTIONS I GOT, I MOVE AND ACT ACCORDINGLY.  I STILL GOT ENOUGH TIME TO GET MY SCHOOL PAID FOR BY SUMMER, GET MYSELF REALLY TOGETHER THIS NEXT COUPLE OF MONTHS HEALTH WISE SO FOR MY BIRTHDAY, I CAN KICK IT, LOOK GOOD AND DRIVE SOMETHING THAT MAYBE EVEN MR. MEADOWS MAY WANT TO GET IN THE CAR WITH ME( that lexus requires that I get my money up, doesn't it, Latissa?).

WHATEVER CARDS I GOT LEFT, WHATEVER ENERGY YOU GOT LEFT GOP/TEA PARTY IS JUST GOING TO HAVE TO BE FUCKING ENOUGH.

NO NEED TO CHANGE OR BE SOME OTHER MOTHERFUCKER, WE TOO FAR IN THIS NOW.

STILL HERE, MAMA HEARNE, STILL HERE. STILL BANGING MY CHEST, KEVIN GARNETT STYLE, I AM THE GREATEST MOTHERFUCKING PLAYER AT THE GAME I PLAY IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD,

WHY?

B/C I AM JUST BEING ME, AND I AM SECURE THAT IS JUST GONNA HAVE TO BE ENOUGH.

I AM A CAPRICORN, I LIVE AND THRIVE AND WAS BORN WITH OLD MAN WINTER.  DESPITE THE SETBACKS, YOU AND YOUR SON WHO TO AN EXTENT UNWILLINGLY PUT ON ME, BABY, I AM STILL HERE.

DESPITE THE FACT THAT YOUR SON CAN'T HELP WITH RENT, DESPITE THE FACT THAT YOUR DAUGHTER IS GOING TO INTRODUCE DELMAR TO ALL KIND OF FEMALES WHO WILL DEAL, FUCK, SUCK AND EVERYTHING ELSE FOR AND TO YOUR BROTHER, I HAVE NO FEAR.

WHATEVER I AM, WHATEVER THE FUCK I AM NOT.

IS ENOUGH FOR ME TO BALL NOT ON A COUPLE OF CARS, NOR A TRACT HOME, BUT TO SET ME UP FOR LIFE, SO I CAN BE THE ZETA I AM SUPPOSED TO BE.

ROLL WITH NIGGAS WHO ROLL
RIDE WITH NIGGAS WHO RIDE,
IT'S BLUE THING, YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND IT..........

FUCK THAT BULLSHIT, GOP/TEA PARTY, GET YOUR PEOPLE OUT.  LET THE SILLY MINDED MOTHERFUCKERS BE MESMERIZED WITH FLASHY SHIT, BE THE REAL MOTHERFUCKERS READING THE PAPERWORK.

GOD BLESS. We walking our paths, we don't get distracted. we gop, we tea party, we are AMERICA!

BIGG MANN-DELMAR
CAMP WISDOM AND POLK
HURD'S BARBER SHOP
FIVE MINUTE FADES, TEN MINUTE TAPERS, AFROS, MOHAWKS.
AND SOME REAL ASS CONVO,  
He ain't the enemy, he just related to them :-)as far as I am concerned. gone up there and get up, get your real talk on. 
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