Monday, December 20, 2010

I opened a gift.....( lame duck, start, the no label/purple movement, immigration)

Hello America, 

On 5/14/2008, I started this blog...........

Man, a lot has happened since then hasn't it?

My first post was trying to help Hillary Clinton defeat Obama in the primaries.....

How young and naive could I have been?  How defeated and dejected I would have felt had I been a democrat during those times?

I mention the first because in some ways, this post is the last.........

No, not the last post.............I know the Obama team was about to start the praises all due....(just playing)

But I am going to tell a story, a true story, we are going to talk for a couple of points and then we are going to wait.

Wait to see if Congress is going to pass this CR with Harry Reid's state business funded through earmarks attached to it.  NOT QUESTIONING THE MERIT OF NEVADA BEING PAID FOR NATURAL GAS USE BY THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT, IT IS THE MANNER, DEAR SIR.

MR. REID, TIME AND TIME AGAIN, THE UPPER HOUSE ASSUMES BECAUSE ALL OF US DIDN'T SUPPOSEDLY ATTEND IVY LEAGUE SCHOOLS, THAT WE ARE NOT COGNIZANT OF ALL GAMES ON ALL LEVELS............

THE PEOPLE SAID NO EARMARKS...........

NONE.

Let me get to this story and we'll get back to that.

I make mistakes, we all do.  I have a bad habit of making them worse because I choose to deal with problems, in-house if I can.  I am very hard on myself, too hard, but that is a reflection of my upbringing. A's weren't celebrated, they were expected as they should have been in my case.  However, that attitude does not apply when dealing with social issues.

All my life, for some reason, some folk have just HATED me.  I'm serious. I remember as a kid, how some people would just walk by me as if I were the reaper in person.  It would be black, white, men, or women so I knew it wasn't those basic issues.  I started getting older, I realized what it was and that is of no concern to you......

You grow up, you know and you think, or at myself, never denied that I am always on the learning curve as far as personal social issues, to an extent in regard to personal situations, I am going to have the same friends I always have.  Things are going to be allright.

I was for a long time, the ugly homegirl.  Thick glasses........make coke bottles look like plastic.  Yes, I rocked the Jheri curl.............Skinny............Dark..............

I was a work in progress and a lot of my homegirls at that time, were the cheerleaders, the popular folk.  I was just that nerd that was always around.  No one was intimidated by me, not physically.

Got a little older, things changed.  My body developed, got a couple of curves, took the glasses off, although now they are back.  But my mental.............................I had so many hard lessons about people, life, friendships, relationships stuff you can't learn in school.  So my twenties........well, I learned from that.

Now, I'm here, I"m 36.  Getting my body back together.  My life back together. and when you build things the right way,   I'm going to be rocking it................Can't you see me having a fundraiser for 2012, I got Eric Benet(I've decided he is going to be the first concert I see, love his music, Kem is next)?  Looking good, Delmar and I being the Neeley's of the fundraising world....

The future is so bright I probably should wear shades.

But there is a connection between the present and the future that has to be made.

Where I am no longer in discussion about what I am going to do and what I am doing?

I never thought that some people in my life would walk down the roads that they are, never thought friends of mine would go down roads where I wasn't welcome.  Stuff like that just never occurs to me, on a personal level.  Never thought I would have friends who would be down roads that dependent on my destruction.  Never thought I would have friends that were jealous of me...........or envious.........or arrogant enough to think they could do what I do and we all know I do it so very well.....(big smile).

Never thought some of those I considered friends would give up on me, and write me off........
And a couple of days ago, I just admitted those hurts, those feelings of betrayl to myself.

And I didn't drink or smoke that pain away..........

I went home.  I went to my church.  I went to Good Street.

I sat in that church all day, wasn't feeling well, but I wanted to go.  And sure enough, home is home........

The choir's voice empowered me enough to just let go, and I sat there and enjoyed service.

I wanted to join church that day, but I wasn't feeling well, didn't take my meds that morning, so I had to leave, I will next week.

But my point is that the pastor talked about gifts......

and the gift I never give myself is slack, or understanding, none of that. 

But I did that day, and it felt good.  It felt good enough that I went home and talked to Delmar about joining church not because I needed his permission but because I want to do things right this time.  There is too much at stake.  I heard the call of ministry(not preaching, there is a difference) and I'm ready to answer it.  Tired of running from it.

For the first time, IN A VERY LONG TIME, I SLEPT SOUNDLY.............at least for a little while.

I woke up feeling rested, encouraged, ready to go.

I don't expect the world to change because I joined or went back home.  I hope and pray the world doesn't expect me to change like that..........

I got the courage to go home, now I'm getting the courage to ask for help because when I opened my gift the pastor referred to yesterday, God put something in there to let me know I ain't gotta do it all by myself so there is no need to continue to kill myself trying to get all of us to where we need to be by ourselves.

Start is a bad treaty, yes, Senator Biden you all have had hearings on it, but there are changes in it.  Just like the supposed simple CR that McConnell came up with that Reid attached earmarks to.

I don't dispute the merits of it, at this point, BUT WE HAVE NO BUDGET, AND YET MR. OBAMA MAKES THIS A PRIORITY.............DISARMING THIS GOVERNMENT NOT FOR OUR SAKE, FOR THE SAKE THAT HE HAS TO SHOW RUSSIA THE WORLD, THAT HE STILL HAS SOME PULL.

Senator Bennnet should not be voting on something that concerns all of us, when he is basically fired.  Snowe, Collins and the other 2 GOP members should not be voting on this right now.

Simply because the 111st has shown its willingness to insert trash at the last minute and when it comes to national security we don't have time to play games.

The spin now that I am no longer cursing or acting a fool at least publically, the move that the Obama and the left will counter with is that he is calm............cool..........that everyone wants compromise.  get this no-label, purple blend of blue and red on........

please...........

Compromise is built on the premise of common ground.

Wanting a socialist dictatorship versus a free market capalistic system there is no common ground.

And trying to "shame" me, Barack...............

baby.................................

The more you make me out to be a nut, the more you put my business out there, and even with the letters(you know, barack.........you know....), the more people are going to identify with some aspect of my life.  The more you are going to bring attention to how felons are treated versus illegal immigrants in this country, medicinal marijuana, issues of culture, sexuality, all that.

Because shame only works when you become dependent on man for judgment.

Shame only works when you depend on man for salvation, for peace, for forgiveness.

And I don't anymore.  I told you all I put down that football at the one yard line for a reason.  I walked out of the stadium for a reason.

My battlefied is in the hearts and minds of each and every Legal American citizen.

I don't care if you believe in God, the boogey man or in between.  My sole interest is do you believe in the freedoms afforded to us in this country to worship who you want........

I don't have anything to prove, the transformation of my life, my heart will serve as a testament to the God I serve.  I need not to do anything but be me.

I am going to dedicate 2012 to immigration reform, we not going to get into the I'm black and hood, he white and no good campaigns, we not going to do the money is bad unless it is in Obama and the "good" rich folk hands versus everyone else, we not going to turn DEMEAN HISPANIC AMERICANS BY THINKING THEY ARE THE ONLY ONE AFFECTED BY IMMIGRATION. 

NOBODY IS CONCERNED ABOUT JOSE COMING OVER TO PUT IN DRYWALL, BUT HIS COUSIN SMILEY WITH LA FAMLIA HANGING OUT WITH THESE AFRICAN/ASIAN MUSLIMS PLAYING EVERY BLACK AMERICAN CONVICT IDENTITY THEY CAN FIND is kind sorta where the real problem lies.

Schumer can fawn over hispanics until he can't eat no more gorditas............Me, I don't demean anyone because of race, I know what it is like to be talked down by elistists who think they are doing you a favor.

We will put you in the system, but just like any other case, WE NEED TO KNOW WHO BROUGHT YOU OVER HERE.

THAT DON'T MEAN I'M BANGING ON ALL DOORS WITH A PUMP IN MY HAND........

it just means we are going to get to the bottom of this and get it straight.

It means employers US CITIZENS THAT CONTINUE TO HIRE THESE FOLK ARE GOING TO START DOING TIME.

It means that illegal America, you all are going to pay up and still hit the back of the line because you cheated, regardless of the reason.

This is America.

I am just going to end at this point, got other things to do today. 

Money Mitch, I suggest you find a way to talk to Bennett and Senator Bennet, please don't fool yourself thinking you will not or can not be held accountable after you leave office by making a decision on national security that affects us all.

Just stay on Congress until the CR is passed, and end this 111th congress.

I finally opened my gift, and I found things like salvation and grace and mercy in it..............

That's all I was lacking, that's all I was lacking.............

and Mr. Obama, you, Money Mitch, Reid, Pelosi, the whole world knows it at this point, you know this blog is read in 23 languages.

All I was lacking was home...........

and they told me yesterday I could come back with open arms...........

The wave of Christian love from Palin to Beck to Mims to everybody God abiding citizen in this country with the love and respect of all our legal American Citizens...........

baby..................

you can't put asunder what God has put together.

This God's country, and his children are all different races, religions, cultures,

but we all bleed red, white, and blue.

not purple, never have..........

never will........

Baby, i'm empowered.......emboldened...........embraced..............

get ready.
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