Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The Book of Reporters (Chapter 10)- the geek squad edit

Hello America, still having IT problems.  went to best buy of course, everything worked up there and when I got home, still not allowing me to log in as myself as I am the administrator.

So that means I will post later tomorrow evening.  I am not going to give hapless hackers the codes to my facebook and twitter accounts as they have been having errors and retweets that I dont send for the last couple of weeks.

I don't have anything due, so see you tomorrow.  I am not going to allow access, illegal America.  get over it.

I have a phone capapble of pulling docs off the phone just for days like this.  I'll be back tomorrow.

take care.

Hello America,

How are you?  I changed all of my passwords to everything and now I can't log in to Windows so bear with me, I am researching programs now to download , should have made a backup register key I know, but it's hard trying to do everything at once.  Everytime I get dropped off, my computer is hacked.  Yesterday it took me typing in the same passwords 45 times, before it went through.

We are in desperate times..............Fox news picked me up on twitter, you should too, @tmims50 check it out.  Anyway, I cannot login to facebook or twitter or anything like that from this worksite, until I get back on with my administrator password.  But I have my phone.  However, I just found out that the phone bill hasn't been paid so it will be cut off.  Which will cut off my internet access, allowing this childish obviously very desperate individual to keep up the rouse of impersonating me.

See although I do not have a blackberry, I do have everything but the security of the blackberry network and a couple of apps as I don't have an I-phone.  I can twitter, I can facebook at any time of the day, and these about four females we are down to who are still impersonating me, can't account for that. 

So how do they counter my literary freedom, as soon as I step out of the door from my home and show up at my worksite, they are notified and the hacking begins.  I guess I am supposed to get frustrated, and put all of my passwords on a guest account.  Guess again........

I go to work tomorrow, I called my beautician, of course, she can't do my hair today.  I laugh because it's so __________ with black people.  Especially with blacks  that are not from here.  They have this idea in their head that this plan will work or that plan will work based off the premise that I am as shallow as them.  That I am as needing of other's approval of me behind materialistic things as them.......

Delmar is obviously irritated.  He reads this blog, he read what I said about his family yesterday.  But what I am supposed to do?  Only he and I knows, KNOWS that he had me leave my family in totality for a long time for an iota of what his family his done for me.  I can't pretend, I am too old and too tired to lie to myself and to you.  I don't hate any members of his family, but is there a very strong, and visceral dislike to the point I never want to see some folk again, yes.  Why lie?  I don't wish bad on anyone, I just don't want to see some folk.  I got some folk in my own family that are on the same list. 

You try to help people, you try to care for them, but when they hurt you time and time again because you simply not used to the level nor intensity of they drama, what then........

This is my life, and by the end of the book of reporters, the cameras will be here.  Identity theft thieves, what are you going to do then?  It may just be one camera, it may just be one day at work, but we all know what this is about. Don't we, identity theft thieves?

You can't kill me, not directly, I have placed too much evidence around for you not to at least catch a serious murder investigation.  You need me to have an accident, be somewhere you can say "I told y'all she was on drugs.........."

And the enemies, oh I am sorry, I mean friends and family can say "Uhhhhhhhhh Huhhhhhhh, I figured that......."

I am not mad, but I am irritated, I am trying to get my factory up on citiville, and move on up in farmville.  But I am thankful to the God I serve as this gave me an opportunity to learn a little bit more about IT stuff and really understand that I am going to have to really pay somebody well, with benefits for me to take it to the next level, but it all comes in time.

Let's start with a true story.

I am a creature of habit.  Always have been, always will be. It provides comfort to be, a relief of anxiety to have a routine.  Over the years, the roller coaster that some call a diagnosis in the DSM, it's been hard.  You have to learn to recogonize the fact that you are on a ride, before you can even begin to start to understand it.

I am a artist, I am not going to want to get off that ride.  It is the highs and the lows of my roller coaster that gives me the stories to tell.  It is my muse.  I chose my muse over stability and for a long time, the muse was whopping me and stability's butt :) 

You get older, you go through things, you get honest, you lose things...You start to understand the ride, you can't do anything about what you did in the past, you can only control how you react on the part of the ride that you are on in this moment.

When I first moved in this house I am in now with Delmar, a lot of things happened.  Things that are in the past, the devil is in the details which is why Lucifer is tied up today.  But my reaction to other's actions, were part of a plan to mean me harm and that is what we are discussing today.  Me and although it may seem egotistical.

I must remind you, there is a pending, overarching identity theft case that stars me.......

And because of the corrupt law enforcement, some federal government internvention, no president since Carter wants you to know, and just some plain ole' ignant actions of some individuals who I guess never though they would be held accountable, the only way to stop this plan is to stop me.

Stop my voice, stop me from talking, stop me from doing what I am supposed to do.

Assisnate my character, keep me looking upkept, like one of these "studs" we discussed the other day, so that the identity theft can continue.

Too many folk starting to follow me on twitter, too many folk talking to me on facebook, I am going out in a minute, getting ready to have this surgery.  I will be at a point where mother dearest and her crew will no longer be able to tell anyone she gives me anything, or that anyone of her minions is me to keep the lie going.........

Stop my voice, stop my presence.....

Yesterday, I had to be at home alone which is cool.  A blessing actually made me a couple of drinks, laid down and watched the game.  I walked to get something to eat, made sure I had plenty of fluids, that type of stuff, so I wouldn't get back out.  As I have had a habit of that in the past..... walking around thinking at 2, 3 in the morning.  Always been that way, don't sleep at night.

I could see the hoping and wishing and eventual disappointment in folk's eyes as I walked back home......

Because I stayed home, watched the game, and my other show southland. check it out, and just laid back.

I didn't do anything that my enemy thought I would do.  I didn't put myself in any type of situation, where I could get robbed, raped, or hurt in some drug neighborhood, because the whole neighborhood is a drug neighborhood which is why I stayed at home.  I had a good time, drinking and chilling..........I watched Hannity, always for Stuart Varney and Dana Perino.  I was too drunk to drive by the time I had a ride to get me something else to eat.  But I made a vow, although it caused some resentment before to not drive my truck anymore, in life.

So no, last night I didn't get picked up for drunk driving, I didn't get jumped because I was walking around at 2 in the morning.

The nights I used to pace wondering about this and that, I don't have anymore. America,  more than I got love on my mind, I got PEACE, I GOT PEACE in my heart.

For me, it's a beautiful thing.  To be at a point, where those who used to make me their slaves with my reactions as my own self-imposed chain no longer mean anything to me, nor their actions.  I think about the possiblity of my phone getting cut off and remember that I can always use a prepaid card to keep it on.  God is amazing because when you settle down, when you are secure enough to sit down and listen and actually pay attention to what's going around you.  Half if not most of the battle is won.

I am going to be somebody........B/c I am.  And I can't worry about the actions of others.  So if you all still need to play the let's play Tiffani because we locked out of her account and right now so technically in court we can prove reasonable doubts to her whereabouts.......

Baby, play on.

I have so moved past the games, the drama, the ever so convient opportunities to argue with crayolas of the past( I don't miss anything, got love for her, but that time has passed......that's the way she wanted it, i am just giving her what she wants)........God has placed something else in my life and although Ican't put my finger on it to describe it exactly.  All I know is that I feel GOOD inside.  Not good like fun.  I FEEL GOOD, I DON'T FEEL SCARED, I DON'T WORRY ABOUT OTHERS, I DON'T WORRY ABOUT NOBODY.  I DON'T STRESS LIKE I USED TO, I DON'T GET MAD FOR LONG LIKE I USED TO.  I DON'T CARE ANYMORE.

And America, I am so sorry.......I have to say it, I feel free.   I feel free to be me and know that I am going to loved and okay without some folks in my path ever stepping in my life again. 

It's like a weight has been lifted off, and I guess identity thieves if you can't tell from last night's actions, that the actions of others don't affect me anymore.  I guess what I am trying to say is LET FOLK WALK THEIR OWN PATH.

I gave up my truck, because frankly, I got tired of it being used as a wedge between me and Delmar.  I got to a point where for legal reasons, it was clear that no matter where that truck shows up at, it is known, I don't drive anymore.  FOR ANY REASON.  I gave it up because I am tired of the police survelliance every time I have to run to CVS.  I gave it up because Dallas Police Department has already shown a willingness to put false charges on me.

So I gave it to him, now when I did it.  I didn't think of how hard it would be to ride around on the bus.  How frustrated it would be, but now I just take that decision as wise one because of God's knowledge, not mine.  I am getting healthy walking, I am getting a new car, and now I don't have to tension in my home regarding who drives and what.

And I am thankful it is good to see someone you love, have their own.  I am giving him the title, I only owe a couple of pieces of change.  I want him to have the pride of saying this is mine.  I want him to have the responsibility of when someone has something in your car and you get pulled over, you learn, your car, your case. I have been there......

It's not about being stupid behind some man, young ladies, childish old ladies.  No, it is about the sentiment being relayed to your mate.  You ain't gotta ask nobody for nothing.  You come and go as you please because if you are going to be my man, I can't see you being treated like crap by anyone, your moms, your job.  Me and Delmar have been through too much for me to see him being treated like a two dollar dude.  I am a billion dollar broad, I love Delmar for what he is to me, the piece that makes us a trillion dollar team.  Not caring about a man's actions takes some time, I was a stalker....not going to lie, but then when you realize how much time and energy you waste when you could be loving yourself........

you move on.......

Do you understand young ladies?  Giving up my car, giving someone who needs a paid for car to do what he does, helping get it fixed up, rims whatever he wants or needs doesn't just benefit him.

It benefits me because when I get my jag(I wanted it because someone else had it and was in a spiteful mood, but then I went to Jag of Plano,  that's what I have set my heart on, I really like it.  I am thinking the 2 door, but I think I need the four door, you still gotta get groceries and stuff.) 2009 on up, so get your money up, wannabe Tiffani's, I'm trading in my bus pass.

Anyway, when I get my car.  I don't have to worry about nobody asking to use it.  I don't have to worry about Delmar asking to drive it because he has his own.  Because I walked so he didn't have to, not to school, not to work or anywhere.  I don't have to worry about him or none of his people saying let me take the Jag for a ride because my car is for me.  I put him first because he wasn't going to have it any other way, but that don't mean finishing last at least in this race has to be a bad thing.......Do you understand young ladies?  Understand that my approach maybe different, but there is a grown woman on the court.......

Stamania, endurance, that's what we talked about yesterday right?  Keep your eyes on a prize, that makes you happy. AND LET ALL THE NEGATIVITY, THE BITTER BROADS AND CHILDISH DUDES FALL TO THE WAYSIDE............  We got our racket, we only focused on the ball, and lines......

I only tell this story for one point, for you to get to know me, know how I think.  I gave up trying to be hard and messy like you, mother dearest.  Me and God talked about it.  I made a point six months ago, after I was hurt for the last time in a way that I could no longer tolerate that I gotta be me.  Just plain ole' sure go ahead, while you are thinking I am some fool, unlike the movie limitless I don't need a pill to be fifty steps ahead of you, Tiffani.

That's my zone.  Just being me.  Just giving away feets and feets of rope not for Delmar to hang himself, but to pick himself up for himself. Because I love him too much to see him be treated like a dog.  I love this country too much to see any of my country men and women treated like the way you and Obama plan to run this country.

The rest of y'all nuts, I gave the rope to hang yourselves and remove the possiblity of me ever having to deal with you in my life.........And you took the bait, thanks for making it easier in my life.  My blood pressure is dropping, I am singing again.  It's a wonderful time.

New Hampshire is writing basically a birther bill, it's a beautiful time, in America.  Who has time to waste it wondering what a grown person is doing? I don't have time to say God don't work for me, I don't have time to say that my blessings are not coming to fruition.

That's all, America. I can't do too much without having access to my admnistrator codes, so it's off to best buy I go to go learn.

I am here, illegal America, and despite the plotting and plans, of others until the God I serve says otherwise.  I am going to be here today, tomorrow and the day after.  With Delmar.........and with my life.

we'll talk tomorrow. I'm sorry, America. Stuff like this has to be said. or I may be back tonight.

It's like in my world, these folk just standstill, because so and so came up with this plan and she always gets her way...........

And I am just in a match that I will win........that I will endure to show this individual, time's up.

I am more woman than you ever thought to be, ever dreamt to be because I have the courage to build with love and that's a lot harder than buying some folk off or playing games manilupating children to do your dirty work.. do you boo, and pay attention can't you see the topic is #howbossgrownwomenwork.

I'll be back this evening.

just had to get some things off of my chest. 
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