Sunday, May 22, 2011

The Book of Culture (Chapter 23)

Hello America,

Today will be short, I'm still a little weak.  

But I thought it would be important to share a few words this morning, 

Well let me not lie, God thought it was important, so let's get on today will be very brief as it is a day of worship or rest in this country, outside of politics and I am supposed to be taking it light.  

God comes and wakes me up this morning, but I'm dead tired.  Dead tired.  Me and Jesus have been running down memory lane all night in y dreams so bad that I woke in actuality with severe cramps... Charley horses and all.

God says to me .........."Walk with your friend......."

I'm looking at God and I'm trying to wake up, but I see what's in his eyes.  and I reply "Nah....I don't like that look in your eyes, what's wrong, man let me go ahead and get the bull out of the way this morning......."

God says again "Walk with your friend..........."  and steps aside to so that I see someone I haven't seen in a very, very long time: myself, strong and healthy, emotionally, physically and spiritually.....  Now I never had a perfect moment in my life, but this is Tiffani from a minute ago......

I clap my hands and hug T1 let's say......  

I say to her "Man....................."

She's like "Dude............... long time, long time."

"Yes indeed.  I know God ain't going to let us talk long because on this side, it will end up in me being institutionalized .... but I dig it, I know why he got you up out of the crate.  We can't talk, but we can walk...." I remark as I am aware of the stipulations God puts on these visits, he wants me to see something.

She simply says "I'll lead the way....."

I laugh.

We walk..............

So at the end of the walk, and when I blink she's gone.  That's how those moments work with God.  The metaphysical brings a different element to the table too deep to get into today...  But the energy of your youth, your life, never leaves you it is within, how you channel that energy is up to you.

God asks "What was the purpose of that, Tiffani?"

I know when he calls me by my first name, I am to take his question seriously......

"Well........." as I think outloud....... " I think you were trying to remind me of a time where I wasn't afraid.....I mean, I am not afraid now, but that's on a public level, but on a personal interaction level, I get it.....I get the point........"

God strokes his beard "You know I know you've been sick, you need to get to a doctor, you need what you need.  But I can't give you that without you giving me what I ask of you.  Daniels dropped out last night........  You ain't Jo Jo but your life is calling....... You gotta come out of the woodwork, it's time for the nation to see your light shine, all of it.  Can't have you looking this way, Tiffani and it's starts inside.........I know you hurting.  

You can't run from you, Tiffani.  Well, actually you can. I heard Lucifer provides all that of devices for that, but you can't from you, no more Tiffani b/c I need you. and for what I need you for you, you gotta be strong.  You gotta face the these hurtful truths that are gonna emerge relatively quickly

You can't wallow in pain.  You can't succumb to anger, Tiffani.  You gotta rise and use these stories of your life.  "

I nod.  and I think about what God has said....... as we both know and can see what is just around the horizon.  The spotlights, the cash, the parties, the afterparty, the responsibility, the public, service, duty, honor, accountability......  The chance to soar, the possibility of crashing...

"You know God, I get mad, I do, I get hurt.  I'm human. I can't think about what would Jesus do, all the time b/c you know Jesus and me be into all type of shenninagins, no disrespect.  But I do understand that although the nba and nhl playoffs are in round 3, the games I am playing...... we well beyond that.  In order for someone to win, somebody gotta lose.  And it ain't pretty, it ain't fun, but it's survival......

I have to do what I have to do.  It's not that I am afraid personally, more than I am tired.  God, I'm tired.  And I simply don't want to hear the Tiffani it was some things going on or you don't understand the game or we never thought you was gonna keep fighting.  I don't.  I am not discounting anyone, God I'm tired.  I wanna lay down and take a nap.  Go fishing.  Sit for hours and look at water, some corny crap.  But we both know that ain't where I am headed.  We both know things don't work that way.........

It doesn't matter what I feel, it never does.  In the end, I will always defer to the betterment of man at the cost of personal me.  You know that that's why you chose me b/c no matter what my heart cannot be broken b/c it has never left your hands......Not stupid, God.  Just human.

Public servants.........serve the public.  And that's what I do, that's all I am, that's all I can ever be. My life to an extent was built on  lies, I get it, but b/c it the only lie I know, it makes it my truth and what am I going to do God without my truth.  Who am I gonna be when all that I thought was me is gone......

B/c at the end of the day, every politician........all of us, even Wonder Mike"

we both laugh.......but i'm crying.

"We all just people trying to do for our people, we all just trying for our people.  And we can't choose who our people are, they chose us. "

God looks and he's content.  I don't like these discussions.  He knows this, but he hears the prayers of all, not just my prayers...

He pats me on the shoulder and before I can turn around he's gone.

The point of that story is simple.  Yesterday, I walked all over Dallas.  It's the playoffs, we winning, we in the conference finals, I mean the Mavericks are rocking right now.  Nobody is showing love too much, no t shirts or anything as this has been the whole point of me embracing the playoffs.  I have too much stress to really get involved in the theatrics of playoff anything, but I do b/c I know these players, nba or nhl, create situations where many faces behind the scenes get to get up and go to work.

Only one race of people, I predominantly saw wear something that said Dallas or Mavericks and they wore it with pride.  I don't know if the right word is Hispanic or Latino.  So please forgive, but the nods, the it's cool what your doing, this is our city.  It humbled me.  It did it meant a lot to me.  It gave the power of knowing somebody understands where I am coming from.  Somebody gets me.

As I watched the game last night, I was nervous actually.  I watched Palin on the Judge Shapiro's show.  Redneck woman, huh?  Palin.  I feel 'ya.  I do.  Delmar came home and I watched the rest with him.

To Shawn Marion, dude, I am sorry.  It never occured to me that you may be tired...  Hell, I am tired.  and the way my legs cramped last night, I can only imagined what aches and pains you all go through.  My bad, dude, my bad.  You rocked last night.

But more than Stevenson clowning, loved your shot, loved your defense better b/c I am still pretty tired, I've been crying writing this post b/c myself, Dallas County and God know more of the implications of it.........

It was just the overall, we not going to panic, we not going to fret, we in the midst of this storm, but yet we water tight attitude that you all as A TEAM DISPLAYED that I am so so very proud of.  The fact that you never lost the lead, the fact that you stayed under 100, the fact that Dirk didn't have the best game, but you all as a team, I mean Mr. Marion what didn't you do, all of you all working together, keeping this afloat for your brother whose shot was off until it was needed.

God Bless you guys, all of you all.  I mean you played your heart out, you showed the world what grown men do, and no disrespect to the thunder. I use grown and young in context of basketball age.  You showed the world what our soldiers, our police, our teachers, our scientists, what our politicians need to try to have, you showed courage under fire in simply sticking to your plan, not panicking and doing what you need to do.

And who can't learn from that starting with me........

Thank you guys.  Mama didn't have to fret last night, and we all can use some men in our lives as women where we can rest sometimes.  Where we know somehow, someway, Daddy got to get us through.  I was able to rest last night guys b/c it's not your fault, nor the thunder's fault, this series, this playoff season has to do with way more than basketball.

It's far from over.........

This just round 3...........

I heard that it was some game in Miami last night, and it don't involve Rick Ross.  :)

You know Chicago, you all are in the same boats with the San Jose Sharks, yes it's playoff hockey, if you don't want to see Daddy's playing on hardwood, it's Daddy's on ice.......

We America,

We rock it like that.

We love all our daddy's.......  We let them play how they wanna play.

Not in the series lead.......I mean you all are going down to MIA and Lebron is rising.  He's feeling it, his stats don't show it yet, but he's starting to balance that crown on his head.  You know Chicago, the thing about it is this.  Learn from Miami, Learn from Dallas.  Do I want you all to win, don't have a preference, just talking, you all are the younger team.......

Learn that in a series, it is less about a moment, than sustaining momentum.  Realize that the joys and highs and memories you are left with are payment enough, b/c in the end when you get old, memories is all you got. Realize when you all step on that court like the San Jose Sharks skates on that ice, that none of the stats, none of the Tiffani's who have the audacity to think they know a little something matters.

I watched Mr. 3000 last night, we all know the story Bernie Mac plays an arrogant ball player chasing a record he thinks will guarantee him baseball immortality, but he only receives that immortality when he embraces his mortality.

Just play fellas........And I say that to the bulls and sharks.

The only way you can get to the point of the Mavericks to walk into the loudest arena with the highest scoring team and not even let them have a lead for one second........The only way you can get to the point of the Heat not panicking and Wade simply saying all we need is a stop and King James saying allready, and Haslem and the crew....just nod.

Is to be on the same page and to know what all is at stake is something you can't buy: time and experience.

Go out and play, young men.  Go out and do you.

You play with fire, you play with heart, you let your light shine.

And if it can withstand the canucks trashtalking or the Miami heat.

so be it.

And if it can't, it will be allright.

The only losers on the court, on ice, in life are those who don't try,

those who don't give their all.

simple corny sappy

but a truth that keeps me going each and every day.

We love you all, we appreciate you all working on Sunday so we can kick back.

that's all

i'm tired.

take care.

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