Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The Book of Culture (Chapter 45)

Hello America,


How are you doing?



First of all, DIDN'T WE HAVE SUCH A GOOD TIME DURING THE NFL PLAYOFFS?



AREN'T WE SO DIGGING A GAME 7 COUNTRY VERSUS COUNTRY WITH OUR ICE DADDY'S TOMORROW NIGHT?  


NFL, WE TRYING......... WE TRYING..........


MAKE A DEAL, B/C SOMETHING IS BETTER THAN NOTHING,  LET ME HAVE A SEASON WITH OCHOCINCO, My packers......., MY COWBOYS.


LET THE WORLD SEE JERRY SWEAT AND FINALLY MAKE A TRUE ANALYSIS OF TONY ROMO, B/C HE CAN SEE THAT BRAND NEW BLING ON CUBAN'S HAND ACROSS I-30 FROM COWBOYS STADIUM......


IT'S PRETTY AIN'T...........


ADMITTING YOU NEEDED TO D' UP YOUR SQUAD, YOUR COACHING STAFF.


mark it here, The Texas Rangers and the Dallas Mavericks will both have a ring before Dallas Cowboys.  It's different with Lebron playing four than quarterback.


Another example of some made the duck up marketing, Tony Romo.


Overhyped, blames everyone.......


I digress.


I am very very tired, I have been up almost 26 hours straight, I think.


Drama.


We are going to get some political things out of the way and we are going to talk about faith, again.....


I am thinking of the new book, and I am kind of offering this preview to see how it goes over.


@tmims50 for strictly political commentary


@pendecadentdiva for commentary about everything else.


Real Talk at the Grown Folk's Table............late fall, Christmas release....... It's a joint to have.


Big Brothers write the blogs, check out my blog list to the right


Big Sisters make up the superclique, I am telling y'all its real........


Malkin and Bila links to the right, they spread the word, they are the word.  They report the news as it is, and don't back down from nobody about no bull.


Big Sis Palin, making 'em hate.....making 'em ratings, making that money going on, getting her urbanized Rove on.  building her political capital like Carlos Slim build billions........


And Big Sister Michelle B........ I got something today for you.........


Let's go.


Obama- dude, I know I should be salivating on this.........but dude, ain't you the president, or what some going to call you?  How you gonna give up like this?  Is that your sideways attempt to put an excuse out there, we really didn't want it?  


DAMN, YOU ARE REALLY ARE LEBRON OF POLITICS, DUDE YOU DO HAVE A RING NAMED THE #44TH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES ACT LIKE IT.


MICHELLE AND FAMILY, WELL, Y'ALL GOING THROUGH WHAT THE KENNEDY'S..., KINDA SORTA BUSH IN REGARDS TO CHILDREN AND BY YOUR ADMISSION THEY ARE DOING WELL.


IF YOU ARE GOING TO GET YOUR ASS KICKED, THEN YOU DO WITH HONOR, YOU DO  SO WITH FIGHT.


MR. OBAMA YOU WILL NOT LET DOWN THE 69 MILLION WHO BELIEVED IN YOU TO VOTE DOWN.........by half ass campaigning......


Now if you wanna quit, do so.  If not, act like an incumbent President, you popped all that jazz about how you don't care as long as you get the job done.  Well in this country, this election is your report card......


WE WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO SKIP CLASS.


GOP Presidential Debate- haven't watched it yet,........but I will review the tape.  Didn't have a chance to do much of anything yet........And I can feel my body crashing, but for Monday, will review it.  My plate is loaded, but we press on.  I got you on the right, I am going to sit down this weekend and do a critical analysis........


Budget Balanced Amendment- There is an excellent op-ed from Judd Gregg I believe yesterday on the merits of the budget balance amendment.  It breaks down it just a lot of hype and drama coming from the right(sorry y'all wrong is wrong).  This amendment sounds Senator Paul tough, but it decreases the chances of a budget down to almost nill.  Which will give Obama the fiscal latitude to make drastic decisions about our debt with no input from us, outside of the FED, who is supposedly on our side........Supposedly, being the operative word of the sentence.


Immigration Amen-Reid J. Epstein reports how convicts are now on the fields of Georgia, replacing immigrants........Ain't pretty, aint the best job, but it something that keeps you from getting robbed and give convicts a chance at dignity and earning a living the right way.  Plus a guaranteed workout that only a real convict knows what I am saying.  Cool beans.


Boehner- YOU WHAT SHOULD GO ?  A DUCKING BUDGET GO THROUGH THE 112TH AND END UP ON THE PRESIDENT'S DESK.  NOW I KNOW WHY CANTOR SAID WHAT HE SAID.........but I know you have something more important to do, AND NO IT IS NOT BUYING KLEENEX...... ;)  (Come on, Boehner, you know I love you, but you are so getting on my nerves with this weiner mess)


Rubio- Didn't I tell you baby boy we was gonna need you.  The Latin heritage helps, but you know why I like you.......I saw you early in your campaign and your opponent disrespected your dad, your family I believe it was something about immigration, and the way you checked him and represented your family......


BABY, I COULD FEEL THE ENERGY FROM THE DUDE.  I THOUGHT, A YOUNG, CUTE, STRONG DADDY.........


Amen to that brother.


Amen to that.


Just like we learned from our dallas daddys',  it don't matter if you the custodian or an ex spur from france......making clutch's shots in the kings house.


(you all know it is going to be so on, Friday,  all dallas mavericks, all post).


We all needed, love and when uncle sam says take the shots, sometimes you gotta do that.


Gang of Six- no I don't agree with the op-ed posted By Senators Kirk and Udall.  What the American people are having trouble with is WHY ARE WE PAYING YOU GUYS, WHY UNTIL THE #44 PRESIDENT HAVE WE FOUND A WAY TO PASS A BUDGET WITHOUT THIS GANG, WE ARE DEAD BROKE AND NEED TO CUT EVERY CORNER.


YOU ALL AS A SENATE ARE A GANG OF 100, IF YOU ALL SPENT AS MUCH TIME OF WRITING A BUDGET AS YOU ALL DO WRITING ABOUT THIS CRAP MAYBE WE WOULD HAVE ONE.......


lulzsec- INTERNET TERRORISM OF FEDERAL SITE SHOULD NOT BE TOLERATED AT ALL.


time after time...........


God's grace sees us through...........


Well, that's it for the political today......... I am going to tell you a story.

Last night, Delmar didn't come home.  Why doesn't matter, it is my actions that we are going to discuss today.

Time after time over the years, we have gone through this........

I am sick, no ride, no calls.  Time after time, I would call, I would curse, I would threaten, use the fact of  possession of a weapon.

I knew last night, he wasn't coming home.  I just knew, God told me.

So I got my stuff and walked to the bus stop, catch a train and walked home.

Time after time, I have chased, I have ran after Delmar.........

Why?

My heart loves him dearly, My ego demands that I try because as I get older my steps get faster, in a slower pace.  If that is understandable.......

My growth in faith allows me to move swifter these days, not necessarily faster.  But I get to where I need to be quicker.  So I am at home along, and I am tired.  I am tired of not being called, NO FELLAS I AM NOT PLAYING THE MOM ROUTINE, NO MONEY, NOTHING COOL TO DRINK AND PLUS WITH THIS FIBROID I REALLY SHOULDN'T BE WALKING.

God pulls me to the side as I walk in around 10 and says Tiffani, he ain't coming today.

Mother dearest, postal Tiffani, Delmar they all waiting to see what are you going to do tonight?

God tells me about the newest fan in Delmar's life, an lvn,...........

Time after time.........

We go through this and this is not about him.

Time after time, I used to write notes, plead, beg to know why don't you love me enough to just stop or leave me along?

Time after time, I did everything but what I am supposed to do...........

Today, well rather last night, I told God.

I'm tired........

He says "I know, Tiffani, I know........."

I reply, " Nah..............son.  I am tired."

God looks up at me and looks at my soul.  It is tired.  It is panting ........

My ego by default, my will by nature demand and yell inside my head to do something to get this grit straight.

Me and God are the only ones in the room.

He says "Tiffani, until you let go, I can't give you anything else.

Time after time, you get all the way to the end, but you don't want to give me the ball.  Didn't we learn anything from your dallas daddy's?"

I laugh.........right now, I am like 0-44 in this battle.

God says "You know why you really choose Bachmann?"

"You chose her because she's a mother to different bloodlines.  She's used to children, even adult children, saying I just wanna sleep.  I just wanna rest.  She has a protective nature about her, and although it is not as pronounced as Palin's..........It resonates different, resonates from a different place.  Not about fire, more about quiet and meticiolous steps, time after time.......being mother, counselor, friend and everything in between.  You tired.  Tiffani.  She's a quiet force.  But a powerful voice, and you gave her that spark she needed to know that it is real.........hell we all did, but what she has the capability to do......

She knows what it is like to see people, tired, she knows firsthand about dealing with folk that time and time again, make the wrong decisions, chose the wrong path and can't take no more.  You chose her because you know this country needs stability.  Yeah, she's gonna piss you off, Yes, Palin's campaign will be more rah rah......and she good people no doubt, but you chose her because she offered a hand to focus on the fiscal conservative issues, didn't back down from her social stance, but she threw out an olive branch.

And you took it because time and time again, she's always checking in on her brood, silently.  You chose her because you trust her.......And baby girl, you gotta let go to get.  You let go and trusted her........

So no more of the duckery,?

time after time.........

you always come through, because you always come through me.......Why?  b/c it ain't no bush the '12 version, you gonna give up on her?"

We sit and the hours pass......Delmar's activity's no longer are of concern.

Before long, I am sleep, dead tired against God's shoulder, I can hear him breathe as I lay against him, tears streaming down, even in my dreams.

I fall asleep, listening to the rhythm of his breath, out of all the places God and I have been to........from the club, the cut, the classroom,the church, this is the first time I have ever sat and RESTED WITH HIM, EVER.....

When I wake up, my right hand is empty, but my left hand has a note.  Bruins 5 Canucks 2, but Raymond is hurt.....pretty bad.  God's handwriting is worse than mine......

I wake up and breathe deep.........

time after time,

when I fall short, when I am tired, when I can't go no more, God's grace finds a way as our ice daddy's showed us last night.

I get up for this morning and head on for another day.

Imma end with this.......


Thank you to a couple of people in particular for last night,


mother dearest, and postal Tiffani.


Thank you for giving me the opportunity to grow deeper in faith.


Thank you for giving me this moment to realize I don't have to worry about being hurt from the lack of calls, the presence of others


FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE REGARDING DELMAR, I LET GO.


I DIDN'T FRET, I STAYED UP BECAUSE OF SOME OTHER ISSUES.........


THANK YOU FOR THAT LADIES, COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU.


THANK YOU FOR SO MUCH DRAMA OVER THE YEARS THAT MY THIGHS ARE GETTING FIRMER, GETTING STRONGER BECAUSE AS HE DRIVES, I WALK AND THAT'S ENOUGH FOR ME RIGHT NOW.  MY SPIRIT STRONGER FROM BEING BROKEN FROM DEALING WITH YOU ALL.....


THANK YOU FOR SHOWING ME THAT TIME AFTER TIME WE ALL MAKE THE SAME CHOICES EVERY TIME, UNTIL WE HONESTLY AND EARNESTLY WANT SOMETHING DIFFERENT.


THANK YOU YOU TWO FOR HELPING ME FACE ONE OF THE UGLIEST SCAMS, WHILE THEY ARE FEELINGS INVOLVED, I WAS JUST A MEANS TO AN END.


THANK YOU FOR HELPING  ME REALIZE THAT I DESERVE TO BE TREATED BETTER.


THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME REALIZE THAT I CANT WIN THIS BATTLE WITH YOU TWO ON THIS FRONT.


THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME REALIZE THAT ITS TIME TO LET GO, NOT NECESSARILY OF DELMAR, BUT TIME TO HOLD ON TO ME.


Thank you earnestly, and honestly.


B/c you two did something I never fathom could ever be done.


YOU OUTLASTED ME.........


SO I QUIT AND PUT IT IN GOD'S HANDS.


WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ILLEGAL NATION, OBAMA NATION?


I am under no circumstances am I moving. There will be no house to move lvn tiffani, or bank of america tiffani, or whatever else is going on.

THIS IS IMPORTANT DALLAS WE HAVE AN ELECTION SATURDAY!

Under no circumstances am I putting my name or paperwork on anything else concerning housing.

This is it.

because time after time, this is what it always boils down with with you two. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO TELL ME WHAT THE DUCK I NEED TO DO WITH MY OWN IDENTITY?

TIME AFTER TIME, I FELL FOR ALL OF YOUR DRAMA, B/C MY FISTS WERE IN BALLS, TRYING TO FIGHT YOU ALL MYSELF, INSTEAD OF OPENING MY HANDS AND LETTING HIS COVER MINE.

TIME AFTER TIME, I PUT HOW I SHOULD BE TREATED ON HOLD, B/C HE GOT IT HARD......OR SO IT SEEMS.

TIME AFTER TIME, YOU ALL THINK YOU HAVE ME IN A CORNER, WHERE YOU THINK I HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOU, AND GOD COMES THROUGH EVERY TIME.

Delmar remarked to me to face my situation, you know what postal Tiffani and Mother Dearest, I came home with nothing, supported d through school, keep a roof over our head, and he ain't had to walk nowhere.  Paying bills with no job.

I am facing my situation every day..........

time after time i see my father put his head down because his child gotta walk but yours get to drive, mother dearest.

time after time, i see my mama cry because i hurt and can't work because you decided to pass out some uniforms, postal Tiffani.

Time after time, ain't promised to nobody.  I got a family, you two ladies, I wanna get my mama some new shoes, I know we not all "fancy" like yourself, because we just regular working folk.


this weekend, you all vote, Dallas and your vote impacts how I will stay in Dallas.


Time after time, Dallas Police Department since that incident outside of the southwest division, has shown love.


Time after time, I never gave up on me, when Delmar walked out, didn't come home, didn't give a damn.


Not b/c of my strength, because of God's grace.


Time after time, I get hurt I get bruised, because of your phone calls. My blood pressure is up because of the games you all play like two school age children......


So with that I end with this song.


AND NO POSTAL TIFFANI NOR MOTHER DEAREST, AM I GOING BACK TO PEPPERDINE IN THE FALL, BE GONE DURING THE WEEK SO LVN TIFFANI CAN BE AT MY HOME?


YOU WON LOVES........


YOU WON DELMAR, YOU WON IT ALL.


B/C I CAN'T FIGHT WITH YOU ALL NO MORE.


I AM NOT GOING TO FIGHT WITH YOU ALL NO MORE.


GOD SHOWED ME THE POWER OF LETTING GO.


YOU GOT YOUR BROTHER, YOUR SON, YOUR KID'S FAVORITE UNCLE.  ALL THAT.


I TRIED MY BEST.


GOT HIM THROUGH SCHOOL


GOT HIM TO A POINT OF ALMOST TEN YEARS OF NO INCERATION OUTSIDE OF A MINOR INCIDENT.


GOT HIM TO A POINT WHERE HE IS BUILDING HIS CAREER FOR HIMSELF.


YOU ALL HAVE DRAINED THE LAST LITTLE BIT OF FIGHT, OF CARING OUT OF ME. and that's hard to do, I still got love Obama, yet I check him every day.


so I am going to bow out and stay in my home.  Not moving, I will be evicted first.  I know God has blessings for me that don't require empowering your fraud.  


not moving catching up on rent, catching up on bills, paying the school and having surgery first.


B/C WHEN I GO BACK TO LA WON'T BE FROM LOVE FIELD..........


Not breaking up with Delmar, just telling you all I can't take  it no more.  I need someone who understands me.  That is Delmar, but the moment you two come around, his nuts are missing and I am tired of fighting you all for them...........



I was always there for Delmar.

and time after time, you all always interfered......

Show me you want me to stay America, show me you want me to stay Dallas by putting Kunkle in....

and making tough choices and arrest.

B/C IF YOU ALL DON'T DALLAS, BIG SIS MICHELLE B. HAS A SIGNED STATEMENT FROM ME TO USE CONGRESSIONAL POWERS AFFORDED TO HER TO LOOK INTO THE TRAGIC STORIES OF FALSE ARRESTS, BEATINGS, AND ABUSE THAT YOU TWO ENSURED WAS A DAILY PART OF MY LIFE FOR SO LONG......

LET ME LEAVE THE RIGHT WAY, DALLAS........

B/C I CAN'T DEAL WITH THESE TWO NO MORE.

I let god have it.

and because I did for real, with all my spirit heart, he gave me a pillow as a return.

Can't say where I will end up, but it can't be anywhere I have ever lived.

IT'S OVER YOU, IT'S SO DEEP FOR A CHANCE TO DO BUSINESS, OBAMA WILLING TO MOVE BACK TO THE SOUTHSIDE FOUR YEARS EARLIER THAN PLANNED.

Time after time, you all played.

Time after time, I prayed.

And it is time for grown women to be held accountable without little big brothers or son.

that's it today.

I am tired.

Time after time in my life, I go through this. 

I don't have the strength to more anymore.





GOD BLESS YOU TWO.......  NO MORE HOUSES, NO MORE CARS.......


TIME AFTER TIME, YOU ALLWAYS FOUND A WAY, AND NOW IT'S OVER B/C I WAS.




Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick, 
and think of you 
caught up in circles confusion-- 
is nothing new 
Flashback--warm nights
I fell ...... behind 
suitcases of memories, 
time after-- 

sometimes you gonna picture me-- 
walking too far ahead 
you're calling to me, but I can't hear 
what you've said-- 
Then you say--go slow-- 
I fall behind-- but those games are out of time cuz

chorus: 
if you're lost you can look--and you will find me 
time after time 
if you fall, i can't catcha ya--No more waiting 
time after time 

after my picture fades and darkness has 
turned to gray 
watching through windows--you're wondering 
if I'm OK 
spirits bruised from deep inside 
the drum beats out of time-- 

chorus: 
if you're lost... 

you said go slow-- 
No more behind,
God told me love its time.



chorus: 
if you're lost... 
...time after time 
time after time 
time after time 
time after time 



time after time.......


TIME AFTER TIME, GOD WILL PROVIDE YOU TWO.


B/C THE DAYS OF LIVING OFF OF ME ARE OVER.


NO MORE ADDRESSES, NO MORE NOTHING AND WHATEVER HAPPENS BETWEEN ME AND DELMAR I PUT IN GOD'S HANDS.


DALLAS I CAN'T STAY IF THIS IS HOW YOU CORRAL THESE TWO.


TIME AFTER TIME, I CHOSE EVERYONE BUT ME........


times are changing.



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