Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Book of B&B (Basslines and Baseball) Chapter 10

Hello America,

I have a paper due this evening so I am getting this post done early as I have to complete that task and finally finish this 10 page review of my treatment at Parkland Hospital and get it in today. The darndest things make you grow and how they make you grow are amazing aren't they.

I had a approx 10 lb tumor removed, which is why for the past couple of years I have been walking around just looking like a hot mess.  It's cool to carry a baby that is full term size for a couple of months for the joy of motherhood, not cool when you have to do it for two years and motherhood is not forthcoming.  The tumor was so large due to where it was placed, it caused massive edemas on my legs only through God's grace I didn't lose my legs and my feet as my ex at the time had possession of my vehicle, refused to take me anywhere because his girlfriends had to get to work and I had to walk everywhere and use public transportation.  When I got my vehicle back, he tore out the ignition core so that was another three or four months walking in this heat.

This is not a sympathy story, I need to provide a little background as to where we are going today.

lets get the formalities out of the way, shall we.........

@tmims50 political commentary, Hey, anybody and everybody can get it.  I have a wonderful tweet family, they help me learn, and they help me grow.  They tell me when I am wrong, they pat me on the shoulder when I'm right, they pray for me when I'm down.  It simply doesn't get any better than that.  Mostly conservative, not necessarily republican, but just folk that love America and grown enough to have intelligent conversation about the state of this country.  And when I'm in the mood, I'll rattle off a good 40 tweets to Obama himself, about whatever hits my mind.  I think that we over 2000, no apps, no programs, just networking.  Censored account


@pendecadentdiva, my commentary about everything else, right now, it’s going to be sports, television, hey just whatever hits my mind. This is my uncensored account and while I do have my days, just real talk, when I am not at work.  I am building my network of entertainers, songwriters, beat makers actors and the like because I will be moving into political issue ads next year........so keep following sending me your music, beats, catching up enough where I can start to listen to the hundreds of cd's and links I got.  Bear with me..... Just gotta a new site up for all of the songs that I rewrite and a way to interact with artists www.RealMusicForRealPeople.blogspot.com. It will be up and running by October 1st, gotta buy the domain, but health costs come first

We got like 1000 on that account, let's keep making hits, Grammies and everything in between, follow me, I follow back.

@jjauthor Jamie Johnson, her link is to the right, she is the author of the book Don't take My Lemonade Stand, a book that ought to be required reading for every civic class.  Yes, civics is needed, how can inform our youth to use their vote properly when the only elections that schools chose to discuss involve reality shows and popularity contests, we hurt ourselves, we hurt this country by not addressing it.  Her link is the right check it out show her some love, the addy listed above is her twitter account.  good people, great patriot.

@MicheleBachmann no doubt the 46th President.  Yeah, I know right now, Perry, Romney and Palin have the buzz right now, but the race belongs not to the swift nor the strong but he that endureth the longest.  She is a woman of God and said she prayed about this mission God put in her heart and she has not shown me anything to make me think that she takes any of this lightly.  I am trying to be a woman of God and I know together along with the millions of voices some old, some new that are starting to believe in Bachmann(ah-ha.........catchy isn't it) use it, pay me, I need it. we are going to get some hope and change in the white house, we all can believe in......Bachmann style.  her link is to the right, check it out.  check her out.

I have a donation fund to the right, times are hard for everybody but if you have something you want to share, I would appreciate it.  I don't really expect anything from it; it is more of a symbol you know that if I ask, God says I shall receive.  And although PayPal doesn't take prayers, I most certainly do.

Last but not least, show love to my blogging brothers on the right, from spirituality to local Dallas news, to news you can't find anywhere in the mainstream media.  They are courageous men with the audacity to tell the truth, support them please 


I digress, walking.........


Anyway, I never really hurt, well, I did, but I never let it affect me, had surgery to remove the tumor, 30 abdominal staples, learned painfully how to celebrate the little things in life, like walking by yourself, using the restroom without assistance.  Never cried not once, not during this whole time.  Not about being hard.....





Then it was time to take the staples out...........out of all the things I went through, that is what made me cry.  Not the surgery, not the pain of carrying probably an extra 40, 50 pounds as I have lost that much in three weeks now........Not the pain that the man I loved at the time, doesn't love me, his sole purpose was to break me by demeaning me everyway he and his mom could fathom.


None of that.............


Just those staples. the damndest things..........huh?  Now the thing that drives me truly crazy is the itch from the wound.  I know mentally that the itch is from the massive reproduction of skin cells enduring their process as skin is dead skin cells actually and that is a sign of growth, but IT HURTS, AND IT IS DRIVING ME UP THE WALL.


Who said growth would feel good?


Who said that Rangers that from growing from last year's experience as a team to this year maintaining that lead would feel good?  Wouldn't itch sometimes, SO PROUD OF YOU.....can't say more than that, but I am.


Growth and itching.......


I am going to tell you a story, a true story and then we are going to link it to identity theft, immigration, Rick Perry which will lead to the Presidential debate and jobs plan and we are through for the day, still catching up, still getting stronger slowly, 8 week rehab.  When you have to take a narcotic to indulge in life's basic functions, only so fast you are going to move.......


About 10 years ago.........  I had a felony drug case going on, I hadn't been convicted, was just getting ready to go to court, I had to wait on some court paperwork in the mail.  I have so many student loans, if nothing else I get bills from them daily.  I stopped getting mail.  So I went to the bulk mail center in Dallas, where the supervisor's headquarters are located to get it straight.

I went in to get some mail straight and was pulled in the back, by Irving, Texas police officers, if I remember about 6 of them, hands on weapons, not drawn, but on them.  I simply wanted to get my mail straight and I know very well the limits of jurisdiction.  USPS property is federal property so much so that they have their own funded law enforcement agency. the Postal Police.  Cheesy, but true.


The men are anxious and nervous.........and I am explaining to whatever supervisor it is, that I didn't get my mail and now I have a warrant for not showing up and I want to make a complaint against my mail and get it straight before I get picked up.  Now mind you, while on my way, Dallas Police pulled me over and told me not to go.......


We not Chicago in regards to corruption, We Dallas in true Texas fashion, we don't even bother to bs with the formalities of hiding anything.  Even our dirt.


So after I get through and I am like okay I am ready to go, one of the officers as these were detectives, not patrol folks, no uniform, just as a badge as big as the belt buckles down here.  Moves and places his hand on his gun and I'm like okay.................


Am I under arrest?


He and I look at each other what will probably to this day seem like eons in his version and in my version.......


He says you are surrendering right?


I remarked that it is however many folk in here with guns (this is the clean version) and am I surrendering?  You going to shoot me and beat me if I attempt to walk out that door.  Do what you gotta, but you know darn well, I ain't surrendering...... this ain't right and let's be honest with that.


He looks at me with a sadness in his eyes that makes me pray for him at this moment as I recall this story.


Out of all of the beatings, and meanness, and abuse I have endured in my life, this story makes me cry.


I am crying now as I write it because I am older.........


and I know what I felt that day: I felt helpless because I was living a fundamental truth about systems, govts, laws and bureaucracies, they are only as honest as the people that make them up.


I was fighting a felony drug case in which a warrant was served on a Chinese take out menu, meaning there was no warrant, just the double barrel of a shotgun aimed at my head......


What happens from there, don't matter, this ain't a trip down memory lane.........


Although it took me almost a decade to admit it, stories like that affected me to the point, where I never sleep that well in Dallas County, even now in my soundest of sleep.


So I applied for medicaid, I think the other day, I had to, the surgery, almost week in the hospital, still follow up visits, meds...... I think have run up a bill let's say a good 30k that I don't have.  So the hospital requires you to apply for such things, they do it for you, they just need your permission.


In the course of that, even though I have a state jail felony possession of marijuana conviction under Tiffani E. Mims as the officials although I was legally married and had legally changed my name to Tiffani E. Meadows at the time of arrest, they still booked and convicted me under my maiden name, had I gotten a hold of $500 the case would have been dropped on that, technicalities matter for a reason.


Anyway, although good illegals can break immigration laws and get food stamps and such.   I can't.  But I figured why not try.  So I did, went online, and applied for benefits as Tiffani E. Mims, as I am now, haven't been married in almost five years now.....


I get a paper in the mail, telling me that I have an appt tomorrow at the ninth street office at 11 am.  However, I look at the name, it is Tiffani Meadows.  I look at the case number 1016243318, not the application number I was just given....


Delmar applied for food stamps last year, while he was staying with me.  You staying with someone when you don't pay no bills, but you want and demand and enjoy the benefits of everything......


I don't know what he told the counselor, but the counselor put me down as us being married, I turned in divorce decree after divorce decree, but it didn't matter this hispanic case worker told me she KNEW THAT WE WERE MARRIED, she knew that I was running a scam with my names.......


My ex's youngest brother has already been formally investigated for fraud with food stamps once.  He is a good guy, his biggest crime is that he trusts his mom a narcassitic sadistic uneducated criminal who is empowered to levels she should never been at by the secrets that she possesses.  I know in my heart, that this ex in law through the help of his mom are receiving benefits in my name because they need it.  This is why Dallas County never booked me under Tiffani Meadows because the last name of Meadows belongs to Delmar and her, and that was the sole purpose of my false arrest.  


To have me living as a felon, and for them to parse my name as I wish congress to parse that jobs bill and they along with the illegal nation they empower through identity theft to survive.  By now, they figured my spirit would be broken, maybe I would turn to drugs or leave God's will and become cool with the scam, get me some money....... that type of thing.


So I looked at this paper, telling me to come in with this old case number with this same dirty caseworker and I thought of that day at the bulk mail center where I was being arrested as my ex's oldest sister who works there, and my ex mother in law who worked for USPS as well as folk that I have known since birth rejoiced with eyes full of delight from my false and illegal kidnapping.  It is not an arrest when you don't have jurisdiction, it is aggravated kidnapping.......


And I know in my heart of hearts...........that if I show up tomorrow.


It will happen again.


So I called Perry's people a the Health and Human Services and of course, their system is down and I was advised to just show up.......and they promise to get it all straight then.


Hmmmmm........


I have a suture line from an inch below my pubic line to two inches above my belly button that hasn't closed all the way and I requested a telephone interview because I can't be in public due to the risk of infection......


But I am supposed to show up for this interview with the wrong case number with the wrong name with the itching from growth of being falsely arrested in Dallas County time and time again......


Yesterday, and this story is coming to a close, there is a pupose, always......


I was getting my staples out and the medical assistant and the doctor both commented on my weight loss, and I am looking like duh, did you see the tumor that got removed.  Do you realize the pressure it caused on my vena cavae, in laymen's terms my entire lower half of plumbing was reduced to about 10% capacity?  The doctor asks am I taking my meds as prescribed..... I tell her no, I am taking maybe 1/4th of what's prescribed.  The pain is there, but I deal with it, only when I need to committ a bodily function do I have to take painpills, yes it hurts that bad......


She remarks like you are trying to wean yourself off of them...........


my heart drops.............


How can you wean yourself off of something you have never been on?


Dallas County, my dear beloved Dallas County........


the things that make you cry, the itching that comes from growth.


Thank you Irving, Texas detectives for making me cry.......because the itching that came from the growth of that experience ensures that I won't be at ninth street tomorrow.  let the ex and his family show up for the interview, they the ones been receiving the benefits.


As I was watching the debates last night, Bachmann........ keep at him....... mothers and fathers understand what you trying to stay.  Romney, Obama and Perry all have violated our basic civil rights through the guise of health care.....

I thought about several things.

http://michellemalkin.com/2011/08/16/rick-perrys-bad-obama-style-medicine/

this is a link to michelle malkin's piece on perry and the hpv thing.  *waving* hey big sis, Michelle, haven't forgot about you being any shot, just been busy.....

She explains my problems with Perry's decision from a conservative viewpoint which perry is supposed to be better than I ever can....... please read it.

I thought while Bachmann was riding him and Romney was pounding his chest another fact, the poverty level in this country has risen every year for the past three years and this year resulting in the highest levels in 18 years....... that's since Clinton........

Now of course, folk like @rolandsmartin and @BarackObama will ensure that their side sees that it is the white man, the evil man, the evil tea party's fault......

But I then thought about Romney, who pretty much paid Pawlenty's debt.........

How can we trust a man who doesn't have any shame about buying a man's approval?

Pawlenty ain't rich, he got expenses and I wonder did he feel like a young girl or boy dirty inside with some rich old man touching them.......... because he needs the thrill of his money giving him power and they need food in their bellies........

And then I thought about how the state of Deleware must feel asking for a waiver of Obamacare and being told now, when over 20 businesses from little restaurants to major corporations in Pelosi's district alone have gotten waivers........

How the Deleware official must have felt going in Sebillus office asking for a waiver on behalf of the state and seeing folk from Pelosi's district know they won't be subject to them?

Did that official feels as dirty as Pawlenty did leaving Romney's office or I did that day in those handcuffs looking at folk who helped raised me cheer my false arrest because of greed.......?

then I thought about Obama and his jobs plan with the head of GE the head of his jobs committee who just send thousands of jobs to China after first getting a waiver from Obamacare...........

and then I thought about GE's main competition..........how abused and dirty they must have felt knowing that GE gets a pass because GE contributes heavily to Obama's campaign.......

He may say he is a man of the people, but his donation reports shows he is a main of big business.....

then I thought about Perry and Obama talking about good illegals......and how they would view my story..........I guess because I am a bad citizen because I was young and arrogant enough to think I could change the world medically, and I did........... I grew strains that lowered Ach1 levels to the point, Delmar don't shoot insulin, no more..........Delmar don't even take meds, now I can't account for his health at this point, but you get my point.

But I was arrogant enough to break the laws to make a difference because I saw child molestors.......get away with the murder of children's soul and illegals get away with the murder of immigration laws for the pursuit of social justice and thought I could get some of that social justice as well.

Since Obama wants to give good illegals amnesty and Perry has decided that good illegals that want to go to college should get in state tuition waivers paid from the blood, sweat and tears of bad legal Texas citizens because he has determined that is "what's right" and refused to concern himself about what's legal..........

I thought about Obama popping s*** to Boehner and McConnell (*waving hey Money Mitch!, I told you, you ALWAYS MY BROTHER........ALWAYS I GOTCHA*)

telling them privately, I got your people by the balls, they broke, and I am going throw them this bone because I have ensured they can't eat no other way......

I am going to wrap trade agreements up with union jobs and going to rob social security by this payroll tax cut unless you let me tax the rich that I have determined to be at 200k even though 49% pay 80% of the bills or let me disarm the military because I want to make the only academic workproduct that I can document and verify true..............

I wonder did Boehner and Money Mitch feel dirty and used on behalf of their people.........

I wonder did Lousiana, Georgia, Oklahoma, Illinois and every other state that needs jobs feel used............because they not bellweather states that dictate presidential elections like Ohio?

did they feel dirty?

Are they in the shower like I have to do sometimes to mentally make myself feel a clean that I never will?

I wonder while South Korea and Columbia who have stood by our sides look at Brazil who is drilling in our coasts, our gulf on the verge of a real estate bubble, do they feel dirty remembering Obama's handshake and word that he would get the agreement through two years ago........do they feel dirty as they watch him hold their business agreement as leverage to fulfill campaign promises of punsihing evil rich white folk that don't agree with him, because soros and beyonce and hollywood they not rich and evil because they down with hope and change.......

I'm Stevie b/c I wonder.......

The things that make you itch, the things that make you cry.........





If I die young, didnt plan for it to happen
the stench of pious from a bunch of noses
Judging Tiffani El Dawn
Cuz God put in my heart the reaper's song

Uh oh, uh oh

If i die now, look out for my mother,
sometimes I help her with her covers

We gotta realize some lessons come from biopsies
We gotta realize some come from babies

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time


If I die young, didnt plan for it to happen
the stench of pious from a bunch of noses
Judging Tiffani El Dawn
Cuz God put in my heart the reaper's song


The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time

Tried my best here in this old world,
what I never did is done.

Won't be wearing white, when I get turned away from your kingdom
These hands pulled a lot of lot of triggers
Didn't always do the best I can
But I tried my best to never let go of your hand
Just help this nation God please stay together,
Don't let class and race bull be our permanent sever

The sharp knife of a short life, well,
I've had just enough time

All I can do is my best God in this darn world
What I never did is done

Don't wanna die but I gotta make hope and change holla
so this country can be stronger when I'm a goner
And songs of liberty and freedom start back ringing
me and hopeandchange in a casket, with blood glistening

If I die young, didnt plan for it to happen
the stench of pious from a bunch of noses
Judging Tiffani El Dawn
Cuz God put in my heart the reaper's song





Uh oh (uh, oh)
Price of God's love (uh, oh)
Dont always be as pretty as them doves
Aint no need for tears, because tears ain't gonna stop it
Save those tears for our future, the babies gonna need 'em, oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time

Tried my best here in this here old world.

And God listened to that song, the night before my surgery, been so emotional couldn't even play the song without crying..........

He nodded and he stroked his beard.......

and said, I appreciate the thought, I appreciate the sacrifice, but not today Tiffani because

Barry's got this mad plan
He's gonna pull this everybody that dont agree with me,  klan plan
The world made that big bet, because they think he's the cowboy kid
Race and class is his guns
and you gotta empty your closet of secrets, because you already know what?
 he's coming for you, and nothing I am gonna do.

[Chorus x2:]
For All them little kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better make him run,make him run  take away his guns.
For All them little kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better make him run make him run girl, you gotta pull it.

 You gotta do this your way
You gotta use love for his hate, bring him to my gate
And in the end the people will rise
'Can't really worry about how high is gonna be the price.
This beef been growing for years
Now is the time I sorta figure because you'll pull that trigger,
No need to hurt him just yet,
outside of putting his hope and change on fire, make him eat s***.

[Chorus x2:]
For All them little kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better make him better run, better run take away his gun.
For All them little kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better make him better run, better run girl you'd better pull it.

[Whistling]

[Chorus x3:]
For All them little kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better make him run, I won let 'em know God won.
For All them little kids with the pumped up kicks you'd better run make him run and tell him I told you to pull it,

And I looked at God, and my assignment as was like I can dig it, I gotta show minorities they live and benefit from American prosperity, freedom and truth too.  They kids wear them pumped kicks too.......

But damn God, I did love this man, even though I know I was just a pawn, I kind of want some love in my life......Either folk intimidated by my power, jealous of it, or hate me for it.....

what am I gonna do?  All this fighting is cool and the glory is a drug in its self, but I want to come home to somebody that loves me.......just for the plain nerdy Tiffani that we both know exists that you refuse to let be public.........

And God let me cry on his shoulder and simply said.....







I know that you kind of down
That you single, getting rich and alone now
I know that my dreams coming true
Guess my orders to pursue my agenda didn't include you.

Oh Tiff.....baby, it's allright to cry
Ain't gotta be hard right now, turned off the spotlight.

I want you in this way, no need to fight it
But you still my blessed child I don't deny it.
I want you closer to me everyday so you'll be reminded
That my child, your life ain't over

Never mind, I'll find someone for you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, You beg?
"I' never forgot you", I said,
Sometimes you gotta hurt before you heal, that's what bobby said.
Sometimes you gotta knead the dough before you get the bread.
Sometimes you gotta knead the dough before you get the bread.

yeah.......

Damn, girl how fast time flies
I know love is such a big part of your life
I know what I raised.....
In that abusive haze
I know you dont give a damn about no glory days




I want you in this way, no need to fight it
But you still my blessed child I don't deny it.
I want you closer to me everyday so you'll be reminded
That my child, your life ain't over


Never mind, I'll find someone for you

I want nothing but the best for you

Don't forget me, you beg?

Girl, you my child, I said

Sometimes it's quick for love sometimes you wait instead


Nothing compares
I know I do care

Regrets and mistakes
Girl, just memories made.
I didn't have the heart to tell you how bittersweet it would taste

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, You beg?
"I' never forgot you", I said,
Sometimes you gotta hurt before you heal, that's what bobby said.
Sometimes you gotta knead the dough before you get the bread.

And I put my head on God's chest and rested b/c I lost more than I will ever share with you........

I chose the three songs because they are all in the top twenty adele 1, foster 3, perry 17 and I know I had something to do with it. 

Not limited to the political, my cross marketing skills and songwriting skills........we developing the website as we speak.

that's all for today.........

I won't be there tomorrow so will someone let my ex and Dallas County know that.  Those things I wondered about, now I gotta find a way to do something about.......

and love will come for me personally, hopefully before I get too old to enjoy it.... ;)

take care..
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