How are you this morning? Yes! I saw most of the game. Yes, I know my beloved sooner lost to Texas Tech of all people ;)
I am supposed to be mad discouraged.............
Awww youngstas..... One day if I released my life story, but despite the accolades some actress would get not ready to see all that on screen, but there is no disappointments that could come from a game or life at this point that would break my spirit.
So today, no addresses, politics will be here tomorrow and this is the very last week of baseball for an entire year on this level.
remember that, I am very aware of every word I use. I cannot control what you take it as, but I can control the words I use........
Let's hear the story, there is a bit of background first, but bear with me.
I started on my way home yesterday like right when the game started, my parents stay on the top of a hill. Beautiful sunset, sunsets and sunrises are spiritual events to me. For reasons, I am not going to get into today, but they are. As I looked at the cloud interacting with a golden, strawish color horizon. I knew Game 3 the Rangers needed, but Game 3 three they would not win. I knew that going in, I wanted them to fight to not be defeated. Psyche is a fragile thing.
I have to use DART, dallas' transit system to get around, Planned my little trip home, but of course, the bus is late on the weekends you can't call customer service, and right on schedule, just as the connecting train is leaving the bus driver slows down ensuring that none of the riders make the train.
I am at the train station awaiting the next train which is about 40 minutes, and these two African men, directly from Africa are talking, they were on the bus when I got on the bus, they are awaiting the connecting train as well. You can tell when someone is looking at you or at least I can when you spend 80% of the week calling Obama a terrorist, you get used to it, look out for it for safety reasons etc......
I can feel the fire of their eyes. A lot of foreign men in particular, are not Muslim, but used to a level of sexism that renders their female counterparts with less of a voice than I have. And here I am, mouth and all, checking any and all, be it China, Iran, or whatever.
So one says to another, "no person can have that much power or luck to call sports, much less a woman" in an accent that says Lagos, and you wonder why Herman Cain says with a stern voice don't put me in the same category with those........ ;) I'm black. I feel you brother.
I roll my eyes and look at them, like if you got something to say to me, do it, if not press on brother because I am trying to focus on the game. I get to a point and the Rangers are holding (gamecast blackberry), so this white American says to me sir, can you tell me what time it is? Now, that is a pet peeve of mine and these days there is nothing masculine about me.......I ignore him, pray for a second and ask him to repeat himself because if I hadn't prayed something different would have come out of my mouth.
He looks at me, I look at him. This is still the south, this is Texas and there is a certain type of white, black, hispanic and foreign person who feels like I am out of place. Not a race thing, a place thing.
I ask him to repeat himself, he doesn't. So I get back to the game, I think Elvis was on base, or whatever, this is like the 2nd inning, so I get on the train, wearing the refresh button out, praying after pitch, every swing. Even when there is a strikeout, I am praying for foul balls, praying for balls to wear the pitchers arm down, three games in three days is no joke.
Now, the espn site crashes, not blackberry, but the site crashes and instead of being able to see every pitch, I can't load the site on my phone. There is a rain delay with the sooners......
I see that it is going to be a long game. I can feel it before I see it, that's how I work. I get in to see this controversial call..... Because the score was lopsided, espn nor fox will really emphasize it. But it was a bad call, and you could see the spirit of the Rangers down a tad. It was so ironic that #43 was there, he's a stoic man with boyish presence. He was firm but you can tell he was pissed, and Nolan Ryan was just like Lord, openly..... LOL! It's okay loves.... it's allright.
Now before you get your jock straps in a bunch Cardinals......... not taking away from your win, I already knew LaRussa kept you away from the media got you amped, got your jock straps in a bunch, Pujous agent telling him, dude...... this is your payday, so just guy and chill.
As a Dallas Cowboy fan, when the cowboys would get in trouble and a "call" would save a drive, they would go to commericial. I used to quip, Jerry writing a check to somebody, they making sure its gonna clear before they let the game continue. The NFL, MLB, NBA make money off of marketing via demographics. St. Louis is in some ways the Dallas Cowboys of the MLB, or up there with Yankees, Red Sox..... as far marketing, who the folk want to see, ..
I was proud of my baseball daddy's. From Beltre to Young, to Elvis, to Nelson, they didn't give up. They made Ms. Short, me and every other member of the Ranger nation proud.
When Ugaundo gave up that homer, I wasn't surprised, he has been slipping a tad bit the past couple of games, and just like Wash say, that's how baseball go. So after that, I did turn off the TV because I had been working all day and I was tired.
I turned to watch the OU game, but feel asleep, I can never be mad at Bob Stoops, I was there when Schellenberger was coach........... anything beats that.
At 2am, I am awaken and I am pissed because me and Jesus are going to have to have a long talk if it is him, I am under doctors orders to sleep 10 to 12 hours a day, I am averaging 5. But it is not Jesus. It is God and his friend, Lucifer, the word devil is such a nasty term ;)
"I am sorry, Tiffani, but I need Lucifer to hear some things for you. He is going to ask you some questions, and I demand you answer them honestly"
I don't even get mad, too tired to, so I simply say "What's up, man?" Lucifer and I share a lot of the same qualities, took a long time for me to understand I can't be God's top angel in every category, Lucifer is still in remedial class trying to grasp that concept.
Lucifer says "Both of your teams got their a** whooped (OU and Texas), how do you feel now?"
I reply "You the devil, you got special powers, look at my heart" and reach out my hand.
Nothing but love and pride is there.
Lucifer says "But you were proven wrong...."
"How so? I said the Rangers needed the game, and they did, I said they would play like they needed the game they did and I said that the Cardinals are pissed and have something to prove starting with Pujuous (not good with spelling, so don't take it personal) and they did. So where was I wrong. I know how to spell the words guarantee, and things of that nature, the devil is in the details, as much as me and you used to roll together, I learned that from you............The little things remember."
Lucifer is mad, but God puts his hand on his shoulder and simply says "Watch yourself"
"Why you so calm? How do I know, how do we all know that you not just bsing? I am supposed to bs, but you know what I mean. Screw the game, I have been digging at you all week, hell, all month, every plan you have had to get your life, your situation straight, I wait until the last minute to blow up, and God lets me. I even got to where you are going to lose your dogs.........that you've had since puppies and I know that's gotta hurt, gotta cook up some bitterness."
My hand never leaves Lucifer's hand
"Lucifer, I am 36 years old with about a 80 year old tenure on bs and disappointment. I am calm because I have accepted the fact that I was made to love. I don't run from it no more because being bitter or spiteful or vengeful don't work for me, although I have tried........ Jesus wasn't talking about winning, he was talking about not giving up. Things happen. You happen. Glad a Law and Order marathon is on because I am not going back to bed. You nor your comments via those who got malice and hate in their hearts, can't break me no more.
I have accepted my lot in life and that I was made to love. I will miss my dogs, no need to lie about, but I am determined to find them a home that can care for them more than I can. That comforts me, serves as a blessing in that storm.
As far as the rangers, Pujous has gotten his I AM HERE, moment out of the way, don't pitch to him, and let his stats fade like your hairline and go on. ;) (a dig at the Lucifer). Craig has shown that he can be struck out, CJ needs to play like his job is on the line because it is when your employer starts using words like erratic, that pink slip is being written. I have faith that he will try his best, and the blessing is 16-7, 2-1, don't matter they both count the same. It was just 3, not game 7, they put their hearts into it, they feel that sense of urgency, they at home, they will be okay.
My Ranger nation does not quit, we do not stop clawing or antlering because Bob Costas and crew want LaRussa to win to validate the "conventional" way of managering. Loving your team, your God, loving your life even when things don't work for you, is hard as hell, excuse the pun........
Some made for it, some not. That's why you you, that's why I am me. "
For what seems like a long time Lucifer all three of us is quiet, my hand never left Lucifer's, he can feel my soul. There is no malice, no disrespect, some irritableness, and just the truths I spoke of.
God says "Tiffani show him the playlist"
Lucifer is resigned........his hand lets go of my hand. He drops the piece of paper on which I had this song written on my front yard as he and God leave.
I get on twitter, they get on with their day.
St. Pete asks God when he gets back to his office "What was on that piece of paper because Lucifer didn't even read the side with all the lyrics?"
God says "read it" and my notorious illegible handwriting says
Jesus told me it was going to be some bull and there was nothing I can do about it. He told me to ask for a sense of urgency because of his angels wanted to see a victory in effort if she couldn't have one in the win column. Knew you was coming yesterday, that's why I was in bed so early.
He told me the song I chose he used one of his DJ angels to give me ;), he told me that song wasn't for the Rangers, that song was for me to help the Rangers, to help this nation, for I am only as strong as my spirit is,
He told me this track would help these local artists, take their career to the next level as the track is a banger as I love my city, I want to help local artists just as much as the Kaynes and such, I just needed a track that I work with, there are no lyrics written down, I just did this yesterday with a pen and a pad and some headphones
He told me that I was made to love, this track, these artists, my life my nation, myRangers, whatever and to just walk my path......
So Thank you Lucifer, making me a stronger woman, I have fallen into your traps of rage, drama, disappointment so many times but , (turn over)
(Vicious Cycle-artist name)
Dude, I've just grown, g Now I've risen
Can't nobody tell me different made to L-O-V-E
Yes, I'll glady be God's conduit
good day to you boo gone is the old T
Game 3 our egos is so oozing
God's got them at home, ready #pms brooding
We back on the block new kids Rangers #nike just do it
Thinking our schwagg bent, our tears is your fluid?
Shaking pitifully bc you got game 3?
untouchable Big T, never be broke by your s***
Kurtis B n the breaks whatever it takes
Real baseball truth We coming to play St. Louie!
get our s*** out Texas Metamucil
You get your win, but we got our own hits so umm
We dressing and sho nuff ready, still repping the T, the rings we pursuin!
chorus (Stevie Wonder)-chorus
Haters disapproved it,
LaRussa boo hoo'd it
But we've told y'all time and time again
Don't ya'll know we was made to love her
give our all just to hold her
Hey, hey, hey......
You know I was thinking
no need for no weepin
Rangers pack your heat in
bro P, we took ya beatin
too damn high to come back down
From Ag city to Funk and D town
we rep blue collars
We giving up nada, making doubters all holla
My daddy's cannot break they blue chevy impalas
My bball daddy's gonna find they way
hit some birds and suffered some damage we still in transit
We home Ya'll Rental cars #advantage
Wash say that's how baseball go, thats how god planned it
I was made to love, my destiny branded
Woke so Hungry today for big a** sandwhich
Called victory for some Big T ballas
I was made to love made to make them holla!
chorus (Stevie Wonder)-chorus
Haters disapproved it,
LaRussa boo hoo'd it
But we've told y'all time and time again
Don't ya'll know I was made to love her
Build my world all around her
That her is this nation..........
and part of that nation are my daddy's that rock Big Blue T's
THIS IS THE WORLD SERIES, THERE IS NO SPECIAL MOVE, NO NEW PITCH, NO NEW SWING.
BE WHAT GOD MADE YOU TO BE.
I WAS MADE TO LOVE YOU.........
And y'all was made to love the game of baseball so much that it is your turn to take that lady called that World Series trophy home for some quality time ;)
yesterday is gone.......
today is here...........
be who you were made to be, being here in this moment wasn't no accident or no fluke.
Y'all was made to love her,
build your season all around her
play like it, you'll be fine.
made to love track, PLEASE SUPPORT IT, LOCAL ARTISTS!
Let Stevie's harmonica and these words, just let the tension go......
Love is stronger than hate or revenge, love the game, love the place where you at,
Love on each other throughout, the game.
I AM SO VERY PROUD OF YOU RANGERS, THERE IS NO MALICE, THERE IS NO DISAPPOINTMENT.
I WAS MADE TO LOVE YOU THROUGH THESE WORDS.
Y'ALL WAS MADE TO LOVE THAT TROPHY.
play like it....
Hey, hey hey.............