I have somethings that I must address personally.
Chapter 33, the amount of years that Jesus was allowed to stay on this earth, huh ?
The amount of years it took to tell his daddy, I gotta rise up and show these fools..........
I am going through my own world series. I saw on the news as it will be all rangers, the book ends when the series ends and we have already established, the new rubric for the next book and it will solely on the gop candidates and how they have handled one or more flare up or crisis in their career.
I digress, I saw on the news last night, MVP Dirk (still sound good, don't it *waving*) told the mavericks to take one pair of clothes as they did. The NBA finals was intense and the same way I called this Ranger season, I called the Mavericks season. The mantra was where there is faith, there can be no fear, not a g** darn drop........ We are here to weather any storm.
And if I recall the Mavericks when through portland blazes...... oklahoma city thunder, and miami heat, to say All we do is win no matter what.
Well, rangers you gotta go through redbird, and not the one off of camp wisdom (local humor) in Dallas.
Thank you, Mr. LaRussa for finally letting the last show in town be about the last men who will ever rock uniforms in this 2011 season......
There is no cool phrase this season, only the lessons I have learned from the Rangers, resolve and resiliency, that ain't over until its over, and that's how baseball (life) go.
I am ending more than just this book, I am ending some chapters, in my life. I am going to move, I believe strongly in the spiritual power of home. And when I entered home, I came in with my ex-husband in hopes that we would get it right, get it together and God's will said it was not to be.
Giving up my dogs because I can't take them where I need to go, literally and symbolically.
I have been waiting for this moment for all of my life.......
The time for me to hit the national stage ain't here just yet, I have to get doctor's clearance to do pretty much anything in like three more months, but it is coming.
But in order to get there, there are games to be played that won't be seen on Fox ;)
There are series to be won, that won't get a ring.
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
What bigger challenge is there to take a team's soul? To tell a team in their own house, it's over........ It's done. There is no more, turn off the lights, not just for a game, but for a season, to write the final stat in the history books........
Brooke Foss Wescott states that
Great occasions do not make heroes or cowards; they simply unveil them to the eyes of men. Silently and imperceptibly, as we wake or sleep, we grow strong or weak; and at last some crisis shows what we have become.
Basically, whatever is there is there. The great occasions just bring attention to them. Every day, every we grow........ and a crisis, a challenge, a controversy only reveals what has manifested.......
So I am going to tell you this story, Dear Rangers and then I have to go, literally, but I will watch the game in totality today.
I am entering a new page in my life. Single for the first time in like 14 years. I am scared, terrified in a lot of ways. So used to being treated the wrong way, not having needs.........(no not those needs,...........rolling my eyes) fulfilled, that I don't want to put my bull off on some good man, they already hard enough to find. So I am growing and getting stronger, but the restrictions I have placed on myself will eventually come out.
But last night a game was to be played, and I was getting dressed in my locker room. This is a metaphysical thing, people...........so just let your mind be free..........there is a lesson here.
God taps on the door and says "My will........." typical. God and I don't have the do it for the gipper thing going on.
Jesus comes and says " Are you dressed?"
I am. He comes in. He is one bench and I am on the other........
He says "Are you ready, you've been rehabbing for a moment? This is less about proving anything to yourself, this is more about simply being you and in that so many others around you will be proven wrong. They didn't think you could get here, I was just waiting until you did."
I reply "It don't matter, J. Nobody else's opinion, matters at this point, just here to play my game. Help me stretch."
So we do, and do all the little pregame stuff.
I am ready, I am one of those players, who has gotten older, even from the NBA finals of this year, the super bowl, the NBA and NHL finals, they all different and all of them are much different than the MLB. More control is here, you can't just come on out and dunk the ball or take it with the time of possession, the other team is going to get the ball so to speak........
I have my cleats on, I am going through my swings, my pitches..... seeing them in my mind.
And me and Jesus just talking about the nuances of the game. I have learned through the years, that I need to calm down........
Jesus said to me" You know why CJ is the ace of that team? It ain't about stats, it's about tone, he hustled, he fight for every out, for every strike at times (We laugh). Wasn't pretty but he helped his team in his own way with own version of resolve and resilience........Remember that ......bc"
And right before he is to stay something else.
Someone else is at the door........ It is Lucifer with all of my past, all of my screw ups, all of the things that are going to come out in the next year or two that I don't want you all to know about. Not ashamed, just I've conquered those roads......
He says to me" You think I wasn't going to show up and you on the mound? You think I was going to not be here and use all my might to see you fail so when you write this post for tomorrow (this was last night) and send your message to your 'daddies', it won't be filled with resolve and resiliency, but regret and resignation........"
There was a time where I would have cussed them out......... There was a time where I would have had an altercation......
But I look at the devil and I tell him.....in a voice barely above a whisper but weighing with tons of resolve and resiliency, I learned from My Rangers and I said so softly......so softly
I could feel you coming in the air tonight, Old Lord
I've been waiting for this moment, all my life, Old Lord
Not going to run from you tonight, Old Lord, Old Lord
I did a lot of stupid things when I was drowning
Didn't want to hear God's plan
My new foe dear old friend
But frankly I don't give a damn
Too old to run or to hide from what I did
Don't need the armor of no lies
And yeah, I am going to tell 'em to win, to committ cardinal sins
It's time to claim the prize
And I can feel you coming in the air tonight, Old Lord
But I'm Not running from the game of life, Old Lord
You cant stop the power of might, Old Lord, Old Lord
Cuz I've been playing for this moment all my life, Old Lord, Old Lord
And Me and Jesus start walking down the tunnel, as I brush by Lucifer, and all I could
Well I remember, them saying don't worry
As I walked down the hall, this last time with no regrets
But I know time is about up, time to face the music g
Because my tank is real low, and now I must show
I'm ready to face destiny
And I turned back to the devil as I hate people on my shoulder and yelled.....
We going to battle tonight son, Imma make it right, Oh Lord...
And just like the crescendo of the percussion as this is Phil Collins can you feel in the air tonight.... I am going back in the tunnel following the devil as he heads back to the locker room, asking him can he feel in in the air tonight, that I'm not running, that Imma make it right.
and for what seems like eons, I yell and sing this song from my heart, because it's been a long time coming with me and Lucifer, never had a world series before.
And Jesus says "You done? Damn near foaming out the mouth, this ain't basketball or football, this ain't even hockey where the ice is going to cool you off..........You in St. Louis, its cold and rainy, there is no fans that want to see you win here, ain't no woman singing God Bless America like in game 5, moving her hands letting you know she believed in the rangers just as much as America..... None of that here.......... Come on, get game ready....."
I gather myself up against the wall, me and Jesus got a banter, we go back and forth until I am ready....
We in that hallway, one cleated foot against the wall, one on the ground......
And he says think about them Rangers...........b/c they need the same thing you need, a win. What would you tell them?
I only got like 5 minutes before I have to step on the mound, but it is helping me focus and gain control.......
I think for about 2 minutes and I said I would tell them
[speaking softly, gradually getting louder]
Nothing going to stop you now, you here
YOU HERE! IT'S YOUR WORLD
One time.. yeah.. yeah..
Yo, all you need is one win on St. Louie's stage
One victory, just to be drake #headlines front page
Everything you need in you the first adam's rib
One chance to show the nation, yeah we did
Pure, playing your game armed only with
resolve, resiliency like houston make 'em flip
Wipe your messes up like a baby's bib
Be silent , let your game be the platform, baseball politics
Run through it to the goal line like Demarco did
Time for us, to put them cards in they final crux
Big Blue Bus, be aware them cards is coming trust
One victory they season done final time is up
Redbull they gonna buck, phil jackson desperate zen
Show your worths, make them drink Ranger Heineken
Richochetin coming in from them Western Winds
Stay on your route Just fight back Just end the S***[more sirens]
This is y'all season So you rep, to the death of it
'til you bring that trophy home, your deeds in Louie is known
The light of the new moon, show cold and cards coming soon
Rain down on them kirk franklin blue monsoon
Prepared for them to sweep they field like loose choppers
Be prepared to fight through it all, let no cardinal dare stop ya
IF YOU KNOW YOU READY TO WIN, WELL 9 INNINGS OUT
REMOVE THE DOUBT, RANGERS THE TIME IS NOW!
I'm whispering in your ear, Rangers
Yo, all you need is one night..
All you need is one right.. that's all you need
All you need in sight.. all you need Rangers
Rangers ball, it'll be a'right. yeah
He slaps me on the shoulder........, the ump gives me my ball, and I pitch my game,
You know I won because I am writing today.
I'm telling you what I told myself.
Nasir Jones, one mic, and that is the song I actually chose for the Mavericks Game 3, but changed it at the last minute because they need something else.
But this ain't basketball and you all ain't facing the heat.
You know what you facing, you know its going to be cold and wet and ugly and every batter, every pitch is going to be felt with the force of a team of men, that are fighting for one more game, one more set of checks and you all have the be a stronger force.
It is that simple. There will be times during the games emotions will run high, and your mood will go from high to low, but just like the candence of that song, just like my coach told me this morning.......calm down, control and play your game.
Resolve, Resiliency, the Ranger Way.