Thursday, February 23, 2012

The Book of H&T (Chaper 17)

Hello America,

I am sorry, I am so late. 

I work literally 7 days a week at one job, school full time and saving this nation takes up all my time ;)

Sometimes, a girl needs her beauty rest.  Plus, my allergies is killing me..

But I am here now.

Because BET took the episode that the show The Game earned and decided to plug its other series that are lacking because they don't have great casts because the premises of both shows is too stereotypical and out of touch...........

So today we stand on the simple truth that Regina King's character heard in the series SouthLAnd, it ain't just about you no more..........



I went to church last night.  Because I have a decision to make.  When I got arrested the first time.......

it wasn't a legit arrest.  I know, I know "they" all say that .........

But I think a shotgun to your head from some folk you know ain't , a husband scared "sh**less" because he realizes that the con letting the police in, and I'm the working folk saying make them come in........., and just like Training day a warrant that read daily lunch specials.......

qualifies.......

Because at the time I just left law school, not a dummy, I thought like the ultimate lawyer and a convict and before I went to jail and started another chapter in life.........

I called Dallas Police Department........

but they never came, because "they" didn't want the dope, they didn't want me to go to jail, they didn't want the guns, they didn't want the plants, they wanted me off the "corner"

Why?

B/c two weeks from that Good Friday, I was gonna have enough money to buy, not rent a home in Allen, nah.........Dallas........not on the east on the side, West Side.....

and I made them take me to jail.

Not because I wanted to play hard, nah......... I wanted it documented because it was about identity theft.

Now because I was 23 at the time, and I thought the system worked. Frankly, I didn't think nothing of it.  But now 14  years later, the case is finally coming to light. Not by Dallas County District Attorney, who is my Godbrother.......

it is coming to the ultimate jury, that of public opinion...................


Because my voice is resonating nationally, internationally, this blog read in 16 languages, all over the world, not bad for one computer, God and me....

the press is coming and the attention coming and something is going to have to be done.

Now, in the game of chess, there are pawns...... those are the ones who in your face first.

When I was younger, I was after the pawns with a ruthlessness that would make Napoleon, damn........Tiffani slow down.  I wasn't hearing it.

When I started getting older, I realized that there existed things like rooks, knights, and bishops....., for awhile they kicked my butt because they were coming at different angles.....But I studied patterns eventually I got theirs.......

Then I hit thirty, I realized that there is a bad b**** on the board, and no it wasn't Trina, it was the queen, she show up whenever, go where she wanna go, but she can't leave the playing board, so cost me a lot..... but me and her had a moment, made her say "uncle" ;)

Now I am approaching 40 and my mind is growing at the same time my body is failing, the damage done to my body can't turn it back. No kids, pain that requires hydros for the rest of my life that I refuse to take, and a physical vulnerability I can't really afford with the boards I'm on .........

But as I leave these queens alone........for a variety of reasons, I realize that it ain't through.

Kind of like how can I really be mad at Iran when Russia gave them the weapons.

Kind of like how can I really be mad at Obama when the GOP gave him the election, and apparently poised to do it again......

I'm at a point like where Neo was in the third matrix.  Looking at these people, who ain't really done nothing but be the best they could be with what they have.

Even those who the pawns who did acts against, the bit players of rooks, who thought they "knew" Tiffani and had my every move predicted, until I called 911 and made a different level of realities for all of us......

In the end, it ain't they fault because the order didn't come from them, they may have draw up the plan, but only one person.  One person, the one person whose laying down means the game is over.

The king............ is the source..........

lies in machine city.

And so I went to church last night, I am feeling chest pain on my left side, my hands tingling, I know what that means.....

Ain't going to no hospital........

Chose church, feet so swollen can't even fit my shoes.....

Don't care.  I had to go the King's house........ to pray about some of these folks that allowed to play King on this level.

My church is about at the state I am.........some soul searching..........  know new direction is needed, but scared to go down new roads because that would leave older routes unmonitored.....

I made my decision the moment I got there and God placed me in a seat.

I stayed at prayer service to know why........

I was never a chic to preach.........

I'm a Baptist from the South, I'm a Good Street Baby...... I'm a Dallas Diva.........

Used to brothers having they say, and following, what can I say?

And I know I need to get more involved, but the hardest of questions was the easiest of answers, I ain't no preacher.  I ain't built to lead a folk, not in church.

So I sat there and look at the storms at church that to me symbolized the storms in my life.

The thing about public opinion ain't no rules of procedure.  You can't control what people are going to think.......

So the first time the microphone is put in my face and I'm going national this summer, what I say about my past.........seals the fate of not just me, but everyone.......

And four people served as God's truth for what I needed to do, well actually five.

The sister reminded me can't just plan the mission gotta be in the mission.........

The sister who wasn't afraid to let everyone know that she understands her mission is to love ain't the mission statement don't have a race, religion, creed or party affiliation to it.

The brother who reminded that you can't really fight the mission by whopping folks ass with words for the ......

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Ephesians 6:12

The brother who reminded me that you can't really be prepared for the mission without using lent for its specific purpose.......... to focus on yourself......

And lastly the brother who told me the truth in way that I couldn't do nothing but go to my truck, and cry......... respect it and get up this morning, and start the first day of lent dedicated to this mission.


13Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong.
 14Let all your things be done with charity. 

I Corinthians 16 13-14.

And by the time I walked in the house, my feet was back to normal..... I have no need to lie, I felt better.  I like direction......  and I felt a new direction in my soul.

What did I decide?

I decided to do to what's best for me.  I can't focus properly on what I need to do until the King of this game called we can't afford for Tiffani to be nothing but a provider of green cards for the masses and certainly not in my party........

falls.........

The King I am talking about don't live on Pennsylvania Aveunue.

He stay off of Mockingbird.

He NorthSide.

I am Southside.

And this ain't about revenge, it is about I don't want anyone, ANYONE, to ever go through what I have..... all because some of us decided we was rich enough, enough in bed with some Saudi's enough, knew Tiffani and God enough to play with my life..........

That's my mission.

So nobody's going to jail, ain't no churches splitting...........

Let's just consider it officially just a figment of my imagination, literary license.

Ain't no charges being pressed, I have to go, but it will be when the King is dethroned and although it may be a little bloody and me too, the crown is given back to who it belong to........

Jesus Christ......

To run the world, is to run this nation, to run this nation, is to run where the money out.

And that's Dallas, Texas.

So to my party members who are seeing reality for the first time with that almost homosexual, because it was entirely too much almost touching called a debate, but sounded like me and my husband arguing over the damn remote...

that Romney nor Rick will beat Obama and there lies one chance......

To the King named #43 that sold my soul as Governor then as President to save his daddy's legacy, to save his and to keep the folk who started the Republican Party out and keep these religious terrorists called social conservatives in at the cost of this nation.........

I cried, I told my God my mission, he gave me a bible, he gave me some fellowship, and he gave me some studio time, Jesus wasn't there this time..........

and I am simply saying to you..


 [1st Verse:]
Cause um
The sex wasn't good
 it was sublime
And I
I let him
Come back
Every time
He would
Violate
And cross
The line
And you
Knew that I
Would be
The type
To stay
around so faithfully
Thinkin'
You was looking'
  out for me
Well
didn't, mr. 43
hear
ya back
Sayin' I
got ya T

And Jesus comes into the studio, and says Hell to the Naw! and I laugh like dude Whitney been there a weekend, and that's how you coming?  Too much Riesling, y'all need to get back to that Sobe Water or something..  And He says, How you are going to do this without me?  You gotta love yourself first, to love your community, your nation, and we gotta save this babies so......


Rewind that!

Cause um
I left my hood
for  party lines
And I
I let you
Come back
w/ tired lines
You would
look at me
And screw
my time
And you
Knew that I
Would be
The type
To always
to say not 43
Knowing'
You was the one'
really screwing me
Well
  Guess you never heard
them Carter b's
Rock
them red/blue caps
Sayin' I 
made it G.

[Chorus:]
Don't wanna
Play mouse
No more
So dumb
To think
You gon'
  Bury me?
  You got to be out
  your mind
To think
  God wasn't the one
  carrying me
It's been enough
Cryin', cryin', cryin'
(Cryin', cryin', cryin')
It's time to say
Bye, bye, bye
It's time I
Do something
For me

[2ND Verse:]
got payrolls for
My clothes
Helping my nation with ends
Feeding they families
They been  asking
Girlfriend
Where you been?
43 say he
got your defeat
through racing'
got you all broke down
using these pawns'
to beat ya down
you would
Follow his lead
Thinkin' couldnt
Be the one
to take him down
Tired of pleading
  dont need your finance
  all that
I needed
Real commitment
I didn't wanna see it
You gave the plan
You you gave my life G
for some id sh**?
Foolish man
Think all
Tiffani on her knees
Is to break her of her
dream
But it won't
  Time to just say it

[

Repeat Chorus 1x]
[Chorus:]
Don't wanna
Play mouse
No more
So dumb
To think
You gon'
  Bury me?
  You got to be out
  your mind
To think   God wasn't the one
  carrying me
It's been enough
Cryin', cryin', cryin'
(Cryin', cryin', cryin')
It's time to say
Bye, bye, bye
It's time I
Do something
For me


[Bridge:]
Don't wanna
Play house no more
You did me wrong
Tired of you
Playin' me
I been lookin'
cuz now this war
  Party ain't yours
So let me do me
Don't wanna
Play house no more
No more
Tired of you
Trying' me
I've done enough
Cryin', cryin', cryin'
It's time
I do
Something for Me

[Brook's Rap:]
You stabbed my back
its fact
  No runnin'
  Cuz the simple
Fact is
That you
  did this G
I done enough
Lyin' and cryin'
To myself
Nothin' left
To do but move
Dallas chess
All you gave you receive
God not YOU told me to save the GOP
time is sho nuff like leaves
You f***ed with GP
God's property
Save your defenses
Spring is in
It's too late
My says, my ways
for the GOP
Just watch G
Rick and Mitt
On they heels
Everday Newt they gonna feel
Shoulda stood up
Cleaned me up, G
When you had me
  Mr. Prez
Will gladly
Take losses
should just had your pawns
Ice me
  knife me
You ain't gon'
Have me

[Mary]
Cryin', cryin', cryin'
(Cryin', cryin', cryin')
It's time to say
Bye, bye, bye
It's time I
Do something
For me

[Repeat Chorus 2x]

What I am saying......

I don't want Dallas County, Dallas Mavericks, don't start fussing and cussing with each other, The league don't want to market no immigrant that don't hate America or some dudes about teamwork, Kobe trying to get his wife back, Gasol don't wanna leave LA, he talks to his brother about Memphis everyday, let them go up to OKC get they ass whooped and move on...

Y'all the champs, you all know more than anyone ain't no one game say nothing, making it to the playoffs all that matters......

I don't want the State of Texas.

I want to do something for me, and that is to hold the person and the group of people that allowed my life to be used as a pawn for identity theft to be held accountable.

Don't want they life, don't want no prison time.

I want the party of the people, back in the people's hand.

The Republican Party........

Don't matter about what Obama say about Bush or what dems say about the GOP.

Matters what I say........

and for what has been robbed of me, b/c money don't buy fertility, money don't buy the moment back where I spent extra days in jail and my grandmother saw all 37 of grandkids recently but me.........

I have earned the right to say.

I am spending the next 40 days, getting my mission right and doing what's best for me.

And this nation being the freest and playing by the rules and not allowing American citizens' lives to be ruin because don't nobody want to see a black woman run the GOP or these illegal immigrants being held accountable as the rest of us are......

is what's best for me.

In all of the little 37 I have, I can make forest gump the movie into a series, but one lesson stands out more than others.....

God don't make mistakes, we all his children, and it ain't our place to judge or determine who is worthy of life or status.  He gave us America as the one place to have the best opportunity to do our own thing.

These kids are going to eat of all colors, and to protect them is to protect their Legal American parents.....

And when I can look at these babies grow up and be rappers, Presidents, cooks, engineers, whatever they want to be of all colors, of all religions, and be an old woman and they have enough love in their heart to let me cross the street safely and make it to and fro......

that's the only thing that will provide me consolation from the pain I feel everyday, apologizing to my own children that I didn't have what it takes to bring them in this world.  Let me have a reason to know my life was something to somebody

This is for me.

And nobody left but Kings on this chess board.

Should have let them kill me when they had the chance....... 

All I gotta do is simply be what God wants me to do, and he's given me the fellowship, the direction, and the mission.

I'm happy, I'm good....... I feel better......

See you Tuesday.
Post a Comment