Monday, February 6, 2012

The Book of H&T (Chapter 11)

Hello America,

Well, thanks to both teams for an exciting game.

I am going to hold off on Super Bowl celebrations until tomorrow.  All Giant post tomorrow.  A Big Ole' Super Bowl Soul Train as despite my personal feelings about the Giants, I respect those who get the job done..... 

They earned it, they deserve it.

But let me say Congratulations to the Winners of the "Blue Bowl"  the New York Football Giant.

On yesterday, indeed you were.........

I was on a good streak last week, writing until some personal events occurred so much to the point, I have to address them before we go any further.

I missed Friday which was cool, was going to write Friday night at midnight, a tad bit x rated..... no need to lie, but God said no.  Not b/c God is afraid a little adult trash talking.  We have to accept the premise of God and his power in totality.  If he created man, then he created sex........

I tried Saturday, but God said no.

At this point, I'm hurt.  Just b/c I don't post, doesn't mean that I don't write so I have seven more songs that just have to sit.

So let me say a couple of political points and then we are going to get to the word and theme for this week.

Actually, let me address the theme this week.  I went to church yesterday, I feel bad b/c I am usually coming straight from work,  Saturday I worked almost 13 hours, was up again at 7 to go to work, which means throughout the sermon, I am nodding off.  I don't mean to. 

I am just tired.  There are complications from my surgery that are going to last with me, the rest of my life.  Needing more than four hours a sleep is what I usually do is one of them.

The pastor spoke from 1 Thessalonians 4:16 for those who need reference that I am not making this up.  It dealt with the rapture and all this type of stuff but for the purpose of this post.  But for the sake of this post, one thing we need to focus on

For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout,

My point is today, when moments in our lives require a "shout" how we respond determines our destiny.

The pastor expounded on how when the shout from the Lord comes, there will be no time to prepare, the call is made, the act is done, it is that simple.

So let me get a couple of political notes out of the way, get this personal post out of the way, so I can start writing this Soul Train Super Bowl the Gmen remix tonight.

Eric Holder, be thankful brother, the "shout" came regarding fast and furious and not the treasonous acts of allowing other countries to sue our states which is a fundamental breach of our concept of sovereignty.  An act you should be tried and if it were up to me, either subject to an firing squad or hanging NOT BECAUSE YOU ARE BLACK SIR. but b/c when you look upon history.........

When the "shout" of treason is given, the act of the aforementioned acts is done.

You are getting a pass, Attorney General because of the wondernut you call a boss, so don't get indignant love.  Realize you are going to lose your job, regardless, you will no longer defend Obama's citizenship trials on our dime including the one in which he is mandated to attend in Georgia, and those countries that you allowed to sue our states are going to get a rude awakening.

Second, political note: to the GOP Senate, stop making it complicated in your campaign strategy use common sense.  You can't get anything done because you have a terrorist for a Senate Majority Leader in Reid.  Get some ads for every demographic especially for senatorial candidates who are new or not that established.

Make an ad that we can all relate to, kids hollering around the house asking for angry bird, a mother or a father or both at the table with a box of bills one part of the table and a calculator....

Pan out and simply say, wouldn't it be nice if your government had the same approach WITH YOUR MONEY.

Please visit joe blow fight to bring some damn sanity back to the Senate without Reid out of office, the fiscal sanity you bring to your monthly budget can't come to YOUR HARD EARNED TAX DOLLARS.

Did you hear the "Shout" in that ad?  The people are tired of the bulls***?  You don't have to address race, nor Obama, or none of that.

The "shout" is in the failure.

Don't address Obama, let us handle Obama, the Senate needs to focus on the ability to function regardless of who is President, that cannot happen with a fiscal terrorist who has gone almost four years without a budget, but revamped and restructured over half of the world's largest economy.

Lastly, thank you Newt Gingrich for once at all of these folks.......standing on your word.  OMG! you make my job so much easier because out of all the folks, you understand the fundamental requirement perseverance.  You not quitting, you not fearing losing in states where half of the population think Romney and his family within the Mormon religion is ordained and special.  Because at the end of the day, Mitt still bleed, sweat and struggle just like we all do.  He nor his family ain't parted no water, no seas, no resurrection......
the rest can wait.

Let's go.

I was in church yesterday and I did something I never did, I cried.  Silently, but I am a woman that ain't afraid to cry because I understand the physiological premise of it, toxins are released when you cry....Things that are serving a detriment to your body are released, to your spirit are released.......

I sat there and cried because chapters of my life are ending, and because some of the chapters in my life are not going to end until I leave. 

And I looked at my church which is coming back to life, sometimes the threat of  new leadership causes some of us to places we should have been all along as the vote for new leadership in our church comes in three weeks.  On a day, I have to work, so I am taking off to do so......

I sat there loving and taking in all of the memories because where I am going my church cannot go with me.

Saving a nation requires getting to know a nation.  Which means going to new places, and seeing new things, and learning and meeting all of God's people.  Which is why specifically I don't minister in that way, I serve a God who has another purpose for me.

During my admittedly dysfunctional marriage, substance abuse issues emerged for me and my spouse.  I will be open and honest about mine.  I smoked blunts all day, every day.  No need to lie about it.  Didn't drink, didn't smoke cigarettes, but me and mary jane.....had a torrid love affair.  For my ex-husband, it was not the case.

As the years of abuse( I was getting my ass beat...... let's just be honest about it), the years of identity theft, and the legal travesty of the state of Texas for 13 years listing my misdemeanor as a national felony which stopped me from becoming a therapist, which stopped me for a lot of jobs..., I gave up.

And it reflected in my appearance, it reflected in my demeanor, because at no point during all of this, did I ever stopped PRAYING.  At no time, did I ever stop reaching out to God,

And AT NO POINT, DID I EVER STOP LISTENING TO GOD.  His "Shout" to me was daily, was hourly, was in repetition of seconds at time........

I saw the situation with Josh Hamilton, I know where he is coming from, he don't want the responsibility of the team to depend on "him" so he does something to bring back the nonbelievers, but I am here to tell you Josh as I know someone will get you this story.

Can't run from God's "Shout" love....... he is going to save you in spite of yourself, because your life don't belong to you, it is his and his alone..... It sucks, but it is true.

I digress as I am going to wrap this up, everyday, I asked God to give me the strength to leave my marriage, to leave my getting high all the time.  Hell, I even asked God for the strength to get a drug habit, something so I wouldn't have to walk the path that I was.......

It is a challenge to deal with folks who got it all figured out,

"She must be doing it too, she still there........

My cousin went through that, she ain't gotta stay.

It got to be something to make her just change up like that, that girl ain't just smoking no weed.

I was doing something else, I was hearing a "Shout" frankly you wasn't meant to hear......

This weekend, I got some money, not much, but enough for the rumors to start, the alert to start as to when the crack binge was going to start.  And normally, things that are said about me, don't affect me, but this weekend I found myself tired, as I dealt with family members who deal with me everyday, honestly worried when they thought I wasn't home and things of that nature.

It didn't matter that I simply bought some tires, thanks Bridgestone, I made an investment in my safety with your duehler's... :)

It didn't matter that I paid bills, that nothing about me has changed in regards to folks waiting for something to happen built upon the premise something "did" happen that I am not telling folk about.

It did matter to me that I felt the animosity that I didn't have said binge, that I didn't give those who I know things about a reason to be able to point a finger back.

And it occurred to me, I want to leave not just for political reasons, not just because the things I am getting into demand it.

I have to leave for me.  I can't deal with the fact that I can't enjoy myself, that I am constantly tried by a city, a state, a group of folks that can't understand..........

God's "Shout" walked me through this path.

That can't understand if it were up to me, I would be in Tyler, Texas growing chronic and with husband #2 on the porch, I own my land.  Hell, at this point, I'd take a trailer and a country husband #2 and live my days out.  Black, White, Hispanic..... don't matter.  Long as his chest was strong enough for me to rest on emotionally and physically and a couple of dogs, I'm good.

But God's "Shout" told me some things and I want you to hear them..........

So some of you all can focus on your family, focus that I don't care about your little bit of your business that I do know...

So some of you all can realize that God made me walk this path, for his Glory.. and that meant some ugly days.....some ugly times and for this nation to trust me when I say, I don't really have no reason to lie to you, if I smoked crack, if I was on the streets doing other things, I would tell you.....

Let's get all of this out of the way today, because we are going to love on the Giants tomorrow, address Mitt's bull later on this week and get back to business.......

Okay, let me tell you the conversation I had with God yesterday, using Kirk Franklin to give the edited version.  I told Jesus as I cried in that pew yesterday.

14 years we still at 
hoping I'm smoking crack?
Look J, I am so through
I am so through,
All this b/c of you and just
When the drama falls
Dude, you hear this bulls*** that i'm called?

And Jesus Simply said.......

Tiffani, remember that you belong to me.....

 we still at
 I'm gonna crack?
Look J, I am so through
I am so through,
All this b/c of you and just
When my dream is gonna call
Dude, you hear this bulls*** that i'm called

And Jesus Simply said.......

Tiffani, remember that you belong to me.....

And I responded back

Remember what you said
It wasn't time to leave and
How many times I prayed for strength to go
Dude, I ain't you, dude no mo and just
When I get my life back on mend

I can't go through this s*** again
And Jesus Simply said.......

Tiffani, remember that you belong to me.....

And I responded back

Remember what you said
It wasn't time to leave and
How many times I prayed for strength to go
Dude, I ain't you, dude no mo and just
When I get my life back on mend
I can't go through this s*** again
And Jesus Simply said.......

Tiffani, remember that you belong to me.....

Remember you belong to me [3x]
Cuz my will be done
Made you live in valleys for my glory

Pay no attention to what they say
You walking this path for my father's sake
So this generation can know my grace
So baby girl let them tears flo
You sho nuff going to walk this path boo
So all can know who got your through


My point is that we all walking on the paths God has placed before us, it is not a requirement for any of us to understand anything but one thing.  When God "shouts" no other noise matter.

Let me make until I can leave.........So that starting with these Giants they can get the love they deserve and move on.  ;)  I walk this path not out of arrogance, or the need to hear my name, I can do that myself....  The "shout" stays in my ear, from the morning until the nightfall, that I don't belong to me.....

Until tomorrow.
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