Monday, February 27, 2012

The Book of H&T (Chapter 18)

Hello America,

We are getting ready to enter the ides of March, and for those who follow this blog, it is no secret that from Lent until Easter Sunday are very trying times.........

The things that nobody expected happens to me, the things that pose the most pressure on me happens in this time....

It is going to be a rocky ride, but this time I am planted firmly in grace........

seated in mercy.........

I know it will be okay, but it won't always seem like it.

My church elected a new pastor........ finally leadership that is permanent is at the helm.  There is nowhere to run behind anymore......

It was a bittersweet moment for me.  And as me and mother were talking when we heard the results Saturday evening, she remarked about the interim pastor leaving.  And rarely do I get upset with God's business, but at that moment I was, for as I told her he is needed more than ever.

I believe my deacon's assertions about the two mules, one old, one young.  And neither of the men are that young or that old but you get my point.  I explained to her that he is needed more than ever, and just because God removes your title, don't remove your obligation to his body, to your duty.

I got up Sunday morning, tired, feet really swollen, really needing bedrest, but I had to go to church....  Because there were things dependent on the decisions of this pastor, that were relevant to my life.....

There was a typo last week, actually the BET original shows have GREAT casts, the writers leave something to be desired because I get tired of the storylines, I want these shows to succeed, but I can't say nothing because I'm not there........... yet ;)

Lol!

Bear with me.........

Last week, we learned through Regina King's character, Lydia Evans, that it ain't always about us.....

So I made it to church, late, because I am coming from work and I have to take a nap......before I go.

And the word came from the pastor....

A man that just found out he lost his job........

And before we get to his truth.

That morning, I read a story about another man whose truth is powerful.

Dominic West........

The sports page had a story highlighting his battle with mental illness..... and what it has cost him.  Now, he should be paid for endorsement for his medication, but David Stern don't want that..... it aint "image" savvy....... Mental Illness affects almost 2 out of 5, but we remain silent.......

However, this man was HOMELESS and slept in his truck, THIS SEASON........... only had somewhere to stay during away games.  This man was denied housing because of allegations of him sleeping with a grown ass woman............ but child predators are sleeping probably in the same complex safe and sound with somebody's child right about .............now...........

Every check, paying for kids, paying for lawyers, only left enough to fill up a truck..........

This from a million dollar player, from a person that Obama determines that is ready to pay a global tax (please know politicians, I don't miss anything............ like the affirmative action ruling which is why Goddell will meet his career maker a lot earlier, he lets ONE TEAM LEAVE THE STATES.......... like Jan Brewer endorsing Romney, she ain't got no choice but to go where the money goes......we all know how Romney buy votes and endorsements)............

this from a million dollar player, YOU ALL DEMONIZE........ homeless.....

Since Mark Cuban has learned to shut up, it is easy to give him credit to where credit is due, he has amassed the top mental health facilities in the league and although no one but Mr. West has been public with it........... it is used because it is needed.........

I digress, this man broke his finger....... and walked off the court......  Walked, didn't shake his hand.......

didn't flip out because every dollar meant the difference between shelter and the lack of it......

He remarks that all he was raised to do is always keep laughter in his heart...........

These are the men of Dallas, Texas............ These are some of the men that impact my life and for that I am truly grateful, I am truly honored to learn from their truths.  I am a Southern chic regardless of what I do in my personal life...... I honor our men, I honor the truths they bring in their songs, in their stories...... Aint a black thing, its a man thing.

So the pastor preached from Job 38:1

Then the LORD answered Job out of the whirlwind, and said

Now to give a short synposis, Job had it, he was singing Mary Mary's the God in me to the fullest, his kids got it, he got it, he gives God the glory.......  And the devil and God talk as they do, don't let it fool, God created the devil, he knew the devil before he was Lucifer.  And the devil is on the prowl, looking for something to get into, somebody to get on..........

God says what about Job.........

Lucifer says nah........ he too down with you, I am trying to destroy some sh** God, I ain't trying to work ;)

God says........... try Job.

And Job loses it all in one day......... and suffers seven more.  He got three homies who eventually turn on him and say its must be you, as these are older men.  And lastly, a younger homie comes and says..... and I'm summarizing it rains on the just and the unjust alike.  Bulls*** happens to all of us..... Just because you in God favor don't mean you ain't subject to his storms.......

So Job says screw all this, because God must not know who I am and what I have been doing.  So God gives a moment to listen to Job and then God schools Job on what he is and what he ain't.....

What we take from this today, this week is two things.

Truth ain't age dependent........

Let me repeat that for some of us.......

Truth ain't age dependent.....

The second thing is that from the pastor's direct words, is that you can't get at mad at getting picked out to get picked on.......

and that's where the lesson for the week lies........

I am coming out of a variety of storms, storms in which I did nothing wrong, but was condemned of everything, storms where I did do things wrong, and didn't get nothing said to me......

Now for those who follow this blog, we all know .........

that the storm was the mantra for the Dallas Mavericks rise last year...........

Where there is faith, there can be no fear......... not a damn drop.......

So when I heard those words about the storm, I cried inside.......

I cried because I was so proud of the pastor because in the midst of his storm, he didn't lose God's hands, he held tighter......

I cried because I was so proud that Dominic West is in Dallas, we are honored to have another strong man.....for it takes one to be so public about his struggles......., he didn't lose God's hands..... he just laughed a little louder.........

I cried and I'm crying now because of the deal I made with God.

I am going to tell you this story and that's it for today.  I have to work and crying affects my work.

I ran into my ex the other day.......and he implored me to come home.  I could see it in his eyes, he knows and I know I am about to do some things that will sever our ties......  When you been dealing with someone 25 years,  ain't no secrets......  When you feel his pain, and he knows your nightmares, ain't no secrets.....  When you got a Capricorn and a cancer........., there is cycles.  

And usually this is the cycle, where we get back together, where we go down the same roads.  And everyone knows it, expecting it, and I've heard the concern from my family, from my friends, and I can't make nobody see my heart....... You know.....  I can't make nobody see that just as strongly as God told me to stay, he told when to leave, he told me when I could be gone for good.....  I can't make nobody see what God told me in my whirlwind, because if you have ever been through a weather storm, or an emotional storm, or a physical storm, you know folk can't hear you.........anymore than you can hear them.........

And its wearing on my health.......

So this morning, God, Jesus and Gary Carter came up to me this morning.......

And Jesus says, Gary going to roll with us, this morning, he ain't going to say nothing, he knew, he rolling with us on our rounds.

I nod.

And God sits next to me

Tiffani, you know the struggles you think about with your church, don't you realize the same is going on with your party, somebody is going to lose their job in order for someone else to get it........?  How are they going to make it?  How are they going to survive?

And I look at God, and I put my head down, for I understand God's point, I hadn't thought about it, not on that level........ but I did and I look at God and I say.......

God, they are going to survive the same way they had before, that Pastor is needed just as some of the elders are needed within the party.......  They didn't survive because of no job, because of no check, they survived because of you.........

And God looks at me....... looks at my heart, to see if I am being an ass which happens, but I am not.....

God, every dream I have ever had is gone.....  I've been homeless, I've been so many places, I'm a failure because I suffered abuse, never lived up to my potential, been at times where I had to work all night just to hustle five dollars just to eat and be reminded of how hungry I was .......... but at those times, just as these times where I am working, where I am doing a little better, the details may be a little different, but the constant was you...... That's why I am asking that you touch the New Pastor and the old Pastor and find agreement because they both gotta stay..... they have a constant you.....

And God walks away, doesn't say a word to me.

And I'm hurt.......  because I don't understand......... And Jesus says.......

He's not mad..... He's not mad, Tiffani, he just.........  We just .......  thought that coming to collect on our deal would be a little hard this morning, didn't think you would make it this easy.

And I replied.

I watched those games with Mr. Carter, I remember every inch of those bases he ran during that year in those playoffs games.  I learned through his truth and so many other men, that its never over, until over..... and because of that, no reason to give up.  there is a blessing in every storm, some just harder to find........

And Jesus wept.... and they left.

What did they come for?

I made a deal with God, I asked God to help my church, I asked God to help his body of brothers and sisters that just hurting and let a loss linger longer than it should.

God told me that if I would focus on his word and make it to church every Sunday, and I am dead serious about this....... that he would bring healing to my church home but it would cost me: I have to leave....

So when I heard the pastor declare God's glory yesterday....... When I heard that people like Dominic West are in the huddle with Odom saying it's okay O, Dirk we gotcha back.......

I cried because to me that was God's way of letting me know that my church home, my home of Dallas is in safe, sound, God tested, weather proofed men....

And to me......

that's the blessing of the storm.........

I could play Kirk Franklin and his blessing for the storm.

But I am John and Lucy's child........

And we grew up on the blues......

So.........

      
The thrill is gone
The thrill is gone away
The thrill is gone baby
The thrill is gone away

Some of God's storms is long baby
He told me this day was my pay
The thrill is gone
It's gone away from me

His will say be gone baby
Its time to go spread my word in my country
Your path is to press on
But rest assured you got me

The thrill is gone
It's gone away for good
Oh, the thrill is gone baby
Baby its gone away for good

One day I know I'll be over it all baby
As soon as I'm as God says I should
You know I'm free, free now baby
I'm free from your spell
I'm free, free now
I'm free from your spell
And now that it's over
All I can do is wish you well


There is a storm coming to my church, to my city, to my country and we must be prepared starting first with our brothers, Wednesday  with our sisters, and the first Friday  with our babies......

I've made it through this storm.......

14 years in this storm....... Not going to get into it, because I'll be late for work, praising him name.....

And I can do Dallas, Mavericks, Good Street, my ex is say I love you all.....

and I wish you well.  Ain't gone today, probably not tomorrow, but one day, God will be back saying pack up......

We need each other, we all have to prepare our homes, spiritually and physically for the storms that are coming... 

let me be free from this storm....

Because God ain't through picking me out to let me get picked on.......

Until Wednesday..... Be thankful for our brothers, love on our men, its hard on them, of all colors.....

I have to go. God Bless .

the spell of that storm called going down old paths personally is gone and no one will believe it until I'm gone.... and that's okay.  It's allright 
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